the happiest man in the friggin' world

it all started in a wet seal, circa 2003 (i was 17, don't judge). i was lolling about, looking for some god-awful top with gold paint streaks, or a witty phrase, or who knows what. and there, on the 10 million tv screens throughout the store, some shiny-happy-spritely blonde man singing "whoa-ohs" immediately captured my eyes and ears. it was catchy, by god, and i liked it! but i never caught who it was or any of the lyrics, really, so it wasn't until months later that i happened upon this one-man-band, the rocket summer, and realized it was indeed the same peppy lil' guy. in the years that followed, i became a very big fan of TRS (real name: bryce avary).

disclaimer: this man writes AMAZING, beautiful songs and is incredibly talented...but he's also INCREDIBLY happy. like scary-happy. so happy, in fact, that he sent one of my friends running in fright at one of his shows in poughkeepsie after he shot confetti out of a cannon at the audience. "it's like a cult!" she screamed. after said show, which was cut short due to the bump 'n' grind clubbers at the loft, another one of my friends and i headed over to talk to bryce, who was near his merch table. "i'm so mad!" he said, beaming from ear to ear. looks it, buddy! as we took a picture together (conveniently left out of this post due to my unfortunate haircut at the time), i encouraged us to make angry faces to commemorate the events of the evening. yeah, he didn't get the memo. still smiling. that aside, dude is good people AND like i said....makes good music. here's my favorite of his tunes, "hills and valleys". again, the video is cheesy as hale. but i can dig it.

tsssss red hot.

it's that time again, where the perfect storm of awesome things have come into my life and i need to make a hotlist. here. we. go!

1. tim lincecum

umm...i don't know why it took until now for people to alert me of this man, but last night during the world series, i literally got 2 texts from 2 different friends within 5 minutes about how this dude is my boyfriend...err, should be, anyways. let's think about it. skinny, shaggy hair, stonerish, looks sliiiightly like a weasel? gorgeous. AND rich? open proposal right here on my blog, big time timmy jim. if you're reading this, i think we could have something beautiful. le sigh.

2. funny, pop culturally-relevant halloween costumes

to me, there's nothing funnier than halloween get-ups that poke fun at some current event or situation (see steven slater costume, above). besides dressing up as the disgruntled flight attendant, some other ideas are:

- cigar guy

- rescued chilean miner (too soon?)

- annoying person with a vuvuzela

- christine o'donnell (witch costume!)

3. jp metz

funniest chick on youtube, hands down. i've been following this gal's videos for a while, but her latest halloween-themed video had me L-ing my A O. watch and laugh!

'

i DO....love viral wedding videos.

damn. by the time i get married, i think i might just be able to completely piggyback every element of my ceremony and reception from viral videos. i've already decided that it's imperative to have my own version of the "JK wedding dance", and now, this couple from austin tx went and made this freakin' AWESOME save the date video. now, trust me, i hate pretentious hipsters as much as the next gal (er, guy) but....if this isn't the CUTEST save the date message i've ever seen, i don't know what is. you go, sean and hayden! but, uh, be prepared for a crapload of wedding crashers.

THE CUTEST DOG IN THE FRIGGIN' WORLD.

i'm a huge fan of dogs that look challenged and/or like gremlins and/or have smooshy faces. so when i came across this facebook fan page of a random dog named boo (SQUEAL!), i literally spent a half-hour looking at pictures and videos and wondering if this thing was real. here's a selection of my favorite boo pictures....he seems dumb as rocks, but i want him. can you handle the cuteness?!!

it's fall mix time!

one of my very favorite things to do is make killer playlists and mixes, and after a major musical drought of sorts, i've found myself in love with a bunch of tunes that i wanted to share with y'all. perfect for driving around on these cool fall nights, going apple picking, raking leaves or whatever the hell else you do during this season! so without further adieu, here's "let the whole world turn you on"! feel free to ignore the following narrative and click the link at the bottom to download :)

1. taylor locke & the roughs - "jenny"

i've written about these dudes (and dudette) before, but the roughs' holy-crap-that-was-fast sophomore effort, "marathon", released this week, is quickly becoming one of my favorites of the fall. i was still hooked on their debut, grain & grape! this song has a sweeeet singalong chorus, an 70s-soundin' guitar intro, and mr. locke's rockin' vocal stylings. i'm telling you, ones to watch...

2. the pass - "colors"

OBSESSED with this song. i call tunes like this "repeaters" because i seriously listened to it about 20 times before i had to stop so i wouldn't get sick of it. the pass is an up-and-coming indie rock quartet from good ol' kentucky, and i absolutely adore this ditty because it reminds me a ton of some great bands i listened to a few years ago (gran ronde, parlour boys, the colour). you can also dance to it. dig it!

3. selena gomez - "round & round"

yes, i love teen pop. let's move on. try not to sing along after miss gomez croons "boooooy, i neeeeed you here with meeeeeeeee....". plus, she's better than miley, no?

4. does it offend you, yeah - "dawn of the dead"

i somehow stumbled across this song without knowing who it was by - extremely fortunate, as i'd heard of this band before and i'd immediately dismissed their idiotic name as no one i'd ever want to listen to. turns out, it's an awesome and fun britpop song that does not offend me...yeah.

5. black mountain - "the hair song"

i usually dislike male/female vocals, but these guys are alright by me, and i was very impressed when i saw them live a few years ago. this one is slightly less epic than some of their others, but still has that some killer riffs and a classic rock vibe. and...it's about hair!

6. faith no more - "falling to pieces"

gotta give props to vh1 classic for bringing this gem into my life. though i already loved "epic", i saw the 90s-tastic video for this one the other day and had to pause my web-surfing to stare in awe and headbang to the irresistible chorus.

7. lil' wayne featuring drake - "right above it"

drake has officially infiltrated every area of my life, so are you surprised that this mix includes him? i mainly just like the line in the chorus "if you ain't runnin' wit it, run from it, motherf***a". gangsta!

8. matt & kim - "cameras"

these two are just adorable, and so is their music. all of their songs, including this one, make you feel like you're strolling down a sidewalk on a sunny day as part of an ipod commercial or something.

9. tokyo police club - "your english is good"

slightly spazzy, with shouty choruses and dancey riffs. who could ask for more?

10. colette carr - "bitch like me"

once i got past the autotune factor, this white-chick rapper from malibu hooked me with this song. the beat is crazy-good and i've always wanted to say things like "this life is toxic/but it's all good, i get money 'cause i talk sick".

11. murdocks - "black jesus knocking"

WHOA rock & roll. these dudes from austin aren't playing around. heavy, dirty, and awesome.

12. the whigs - "so lonely"

this band pretty much summarizes my music taste - catchy choruses, crunchy guitars, sound like they're from the 90s. mmm-mmm-good.

13. the 88 - "they ought to see you now"

remember that "coming home" song from some commercial? well, you know it if you heard it, probably. anyways, that was by this band, who also has some other really good stuff. fun, upbeat power-pop with a hint of soul!

download!!!

oh bandz, you so silly

okay, so i'm like 6+ months late on blogging about this, but i've just recently come to accept that i think sillybandz - the silicone bracelets shaped like dinosaurs, giraffes, guitars, and pretty much anything else that you can form silicone into - are pretty fantastic. yes, i know i just wrote about the fact that i'm secretly 40 years old, but i'm apparently also 13. my love for the 'bandz has most definitely been an acquired taste, however.

my first encounter with them was at a yuppy lounge in boston, of all places, called lucky's. after a nice dinner with a rat pack-esque man crooning in the background, my gal pals and i wandered over to the more hoppin' bar side, and met a 20-something guy with some curious day-glo colored bands around his wrist. none of us, myself included, had ever seen these strange things before, and my rum and coke-addled brain still didn't fully process the concept until the next day. all i knew was that he got these things "from a girl" (calling chris hansen, anyone?) and decided to play a game. if we could successfully guess which animal would appear when he removed one of the silly bandz from his wrist, he would buy us each a drink. all sounded well and good, except for the fact that after each guess, he would fling the band into the crowded bar in order to avoid paying for our cocktails. to his credit, he eventually gave in and got us beers (le sigh), but i was still intrigued by these strange new accessories.

cut to the boston dew tour a few weeks later, when upon wandering around the "festival village", filled with tweens and crap that no one needs, i was approached by a woman giving out free skateboard silly bandz. now, if this wasn't just the most awesome thing i'd ever seen, i didn't know what was. i put it on my wrist and it was love ever since.

currently, it's still the only one i have as i'm still working up the courage to buy a pack on my own free will. i also just found out that hanson is even selling the friggin' things on their site so you know i'm all up in that. someone reel me back in!

teach me how to dougie.

so, apparently i'm wayyy behind the curve, as i JUST heard about the latest dance craze, "the dougie", a little over a week ago. nevermind that the gal who taught me how to dougie was terribly misguided, as my youtube spree the next day would quickly demonstrate (i guess that's what you get when trying to learn a hip-hop dance in an irish pub in malden). but i don't think the creators of the dougie, a rap group called cali swag district, even know how to do the damn thing! even the "how-to" video, supposedly with a step-by-step tutorial, leaves me going "what are the steps?!"

until i saw the video of chris brown dougie-ing, that is. i don't care how you do it or if there is a way to do it, cali swag district. chris brown's version is the only one i ever wanna know or learn. makes me almost forget that he beat up rihanna. ALMOST. i literally said "ohhh, booooy!" aloud. so for all of you just DYING to learn how to dougie....this is your chance. watch and learn, girls and boys.

shhhh...i'm really 40 years old.

okay, OBVIOUSLY joking, but as my friends will attest, i call myself an "old woman" or say that i'm "40 years old" at least once a week. and a small part of my legitimately often wonders if i was born into the wrong generation. because despite my immense love for 90s boy bands and shows like "boy meets world" those pop cultural-leanings are just about the only connection i feel to my generation as a whole. let me explain.

first, grunge and i are kindred spirits. i still contend that, if i were truly 40, i would have lived through the prime of my teenage years during the 80s hair band craze, and i could have gotten all of the day-glo, acid-wash and aquanet out of my hair (literally) by the time my more mature 20s rolled around. PERFECT. by then, i'd be more into sipping coffee while wearing flannel, dating a kurt cobain lookalike and listening to alice in chains anyways. inexplicably, in complete contrast to my normally bubbly and sunshiney personality, i get so much joy out of listening to "nearly lost you" by screaming trees, acting morose and pretending it's 1992. weird, huh? if only they still made ZIMA...

i also love doing boring old lady things. watching my "programs" while drinking a cup of tea and doing a crossword puzzle in the evening? heaven. okay, maybe this brings me up to somewhere around 80, but stick with me. i still love wilin' out, going dancing and and having a generally grand ol' time, but some nights i want nothing more than to go out to a buffet dinner, pop some apple crisp in the oven, and watch the tube.

add to that the fact that i a) don't go tanning b) usually go out in flats and/or kitten heels no higher than 2 inches and c) truly enjoy cracklin' oat bran, chocolate-covered plum bites and tapioca pudding...and i stand by my argument.

now excuse me, i need to see the end of "chronicle".

anthony bourdain: ultimate DILF

as much as i love each member of the trifecta of traveling, eating men whose names begin with 'a', anthony bourdain has had my heart -- and my undying lust -- for as long as i can remember (sorry, adam richman and andrew zimmern). he's one of the few men i'd probably give a limb to spend an evening with...and DEFINITELY the only one over 50 (sorry, hugh laurie). as my hilar mom so succinctly summarized my intrigue with tony,

"you love anthony bourdain because he's a manly man, he's a drunk, he smokes, and he's always eating. but he's witty."

probably couldn't have said it better myself. and as i watch the "no reservations" marathon on this lovely labor day in preparation for the 100th episode, i decided to reflect on the few actual things i learned from mr. bourdain when i wasn't too busy rolling off the couch laughing at his latest witticism.

1. the best food ever is always sold on the street.

tony's in ecuador. he's eating tripe stew that was slung off of a random cart! tony's in puerto rico. he's chowing down on mofongo that was apparently whipped up in a pick-up truck! i don't know if it's the addition of dirt, grime, and gasoline that give these dishes an extra kick, but hey, if a world-class chef is eating it, it's gotta be good. right?

2. the nether regions of animals are impossibly delicious.

i didn't realize it until i started watching the show, but eating bull testicles and cow penises and the like is at least somewhat common in other countries. either that or bourdain just has a strange fetish for twigs and berries. and from his apparent enjoyment of these, uh, delicacies, they look like they taste pretty darn good. bucket list item? perhaps.

3. you should have a friend in every single country, ever.

yes, i know that travel channel probably arranges for most of these international "hosts" in every episode that whisk tony around, invite him to dinner in their mud huts and force him to endure at least one strange physical challenge per visit. but he totally plays it off like he's known these randoms forever - telling dirty jokes, taking a genuine interest in their stories, etc. etc. and why not? i'd love to be able to jump from place to place with the promise of a total cultural immersion with crazy strangers i'd never met before.

you keep on keepin' on, tony.

emmy fashion recap: what is this, a funeral?!

for (almost) every awards show, i eagerly watch from the countdown to the red carpet, to live from the red carpet...to the actual show, mostly to see what gorgeous and/or hideous gowns will be discussed at the water cooler the next day. not that anyone at my office discusses emmy fashion around a water cooler, but...you get the point. anyways, i don't know what y'all thought about the emmy ensembles this year, but i was BORED as haaale and felt like i was at someone's wake with all of the black floating around! an awards show, in the summer, in sunny los angeles just didn't seem right full of somber dark tones. yeah, i get that it's a classy gig, but it doesn't mean you have to look like you're in mourning. my god! anyways, i took the liberty of choosing my 3 least favorite and 3 best-dressed at the awards last night. agree? disagree? speak up!

WORST-DRESSED:

christina hendricks

i don't know if a "mad men" time warp threw her off, but i was SO not a fan of christina hendricks' boobalicious, MILFy frock. it looked like a colonial housewife turned into a lady of the evening. combine that with the bright red hair and it looks like she could be turning tricks at a renaissance fair.

tina fey

everyone was raving about tina fey's oscar de la renta gown, but i felt more like it was something you'd find in a tacky cape cod gift shop for a cougar's "night on the town". the pattern is absolutely cringeworthy and the cap sleeves just make it look even more frumpy. no thx!

january jones

oh, girrrrl, i don't even know where to begin. what is with you mad men chicks?! now we've gone wonder woman with this nasty electric blue, and it looks like you're dragging a comforter and/or insulation behind you. blech.

BEST-DRESSED

anna paquin

take notes, chickies, this is how you do it! yeah, sookie's rockin' some black, but she's also got some FIERCE gold patterned shoulder action going on. with the sleek updo, she's totally flawless and fabulous, amirite?

claire danes

i don't even like claire danes that much (except of course, on my so-called life), but i LOVED her dress. it was classic glam - lots of sparkles and a pretty, subtle color. a bunch of gals wore white this year, but i much prefer something like this that has a little twist. bravo, angela...er, claire!

nina dobrev

i have a soft spot for the vampire diaries star nina dobrev because she was on my favorite canadian teen melodrama, degrassi, but i thought she looked particularly stunning in this one-shoulder grecian-lookin' gown. and she's sooooooooo tan.

hot and fresh out the kitchen

sometimes, there are just so many random things i'm loving that i need to make a "hotlist". so without further adieu and in no particular order...

1 .mike "the situation" signing on for "dancing with the stars"

as you've learned from my previous post on the veritable god of screen, shelf, and nutritional supplement, i've got quite a thang for mr. sorrentino. and despite me swearing off "dancing with the stars" because it's SOOOOO BORING, the sitch might just have me tuning in again. but only if he promises gratuitous ab-flashing and random "GTL" and "grenade" outbursts.

2. weddings

this past weekend, i got all gussied up, hopped on a big yellow school bus with about 25 of the bride and groom's friends and proceeded to cry (the vows make me emotional, shut up), eat filet mignon, drink whiskey sours and dance 'til i dropped at the fabulous reception. now, there seems to be a lot of hate for weddings for some reason, and i just don't get it. i mean, odds are if you're getting invited to a wedding, you're friends with or relatives of one of the people getting married. so, you should PROBABLY be happy for them. plus, who doesn't want to eat a gourmet meal, get tipsy and boogie to kc and the sunshine band and lady gaga with aunt millie and the cute stranger you just met? by the end of this reception, men were donning nothing but vests and ties while jumping wildly to usher's "O.M.G." can't beat it.

3. boston's restaurant week

despite my mysteriously non-obese weight, i'm a secret fatty and the amount of food i ingest even disgusts me sometimes. so tomorrow, i'm heading to tremont 647 as part of boston's restaurant week to enjoy a 3-course pre fixe meal for the low, low price of $33! not bad for grilled shrimp risotto, sage-crusted rib eye and s'more brownies with chocolate ganache. NOM!

4. the new usher jam "dj's got us falling in love"

now, the top 40/hip-hop music of this summer has been particularly phenomenal, but when i went out dancing a few weekends ago and this one came on, i practically jumped out of my skin. between the fist-pumpin' beat, the catchy chorus, and when pitbull comes in and says "yabbadabbadoo make her bed rock, mami on fire psssst red hot" = RECIPE FOR SUCCESS. check it.

what are you loving right now?

this is a jetsetter music letter

jetblue and i have had a lovely relationship, really. i guess you could technically call it "love at first flight". heh. but from the moment my eyes met with the free directv and i spent my flight chuckling at anthony bourdain and bad-mouthing house hunters couples, i knew we were going to make a great pair. then there was the time ol' JB saved half of our bachelorette gang with a red-eye flight to boston, complete with sleep masks and earplugs, after ANOTHER airline ::cough DELTA cough::: left us stranded in vegas, hungover and sleep-deprived.

so when jetblue announced they'd be offering an "all you can jet" pass, for unlimited u.s. travel between september 6 and october 7, 2010, for $699 ($499 if you scratch travel on fridays and sundays), i was naturally ecstatic. YES! drop everything and travel the states. sounds great! oohhhhh....except for that whole having to take work off for a month thing. but a girl can dream, no? so here's my dream jetsettin' itinerary if i DID do it:

1. take a surfing lesson in san diego

2. hike runyon canyon in L.A. (...then party like a celebrity, with celebrities)

3. stand on the golden gate bridge in san francisco

4. catch a fish at pike place market in seattle

5. eat a bacon-maple doughnut at voodoo doughnuts in portland

6. remember (and visit) the alamo in san antonio

7. wander sixth street in austin

8. see a show at the grand ole opry in nashville

9. go to a jazz bar in new orleans

10. tour the coca-cola factory and CNN studios in atlanta

11. see how money's made at the u.s. mint in denver

12. take a hot air balloon over the desert in phoenix

so, where would you go and what would you do in a month of non-stop jetting? spill it!

leave the gun, take the tuna melt

being a wannabe foodie and fast/fast casual/frozen food connoisseur, i truly enjoy trying out new ways through which i can stuff my face. one of these ways - recently discovered through my pal kari - is a site called foodler , that allows you to place your order from a number of local eateries - sometimes even offering free delivery!

anyways, being tired from a late night out on saturday and feeling generally lazy, it was going to be a foodler dinner night on sunday. i read good things about neapoli cafe in nearby malden, so i clicked through to the menu, not knowing quite what i was in the mood for. and there, like a shining beacon of light at the top of the sandwich section, i saw it: "tuna melt w/ tomato sandwich". YES! food epiphany. unfortunately, my total, minus tax, came to a precarious 9.98 - there was a $10 minimum. i needed to add something. naturally, my first instinct (as is everyone's when thinking about what would be good on a tuna sandwich) is "artichokes". obviously. CLEARLY. my weird food preferences aside, i had hit the almighty $10 and all i had to do was click "finish order". bam. done. cut to a half-hour later...

i receive an ominous call from the delivery man, whom i could not understand in the SLIGHTEST due to the language barrier going on. however, my apartment's 3rd-floor location and living room's view onto the street below has turned me into a veritable christopher reeve in "rear window", so i was totally lurkin', and saw no car, so i assumed he said something like "your food's on its way". which was weird, but i went with it.

a half-hour later, a starving me, and STILL no tuna melt, and i called ol' neapoli to inquire about my food. "he's right here," the man who answered said, "he said he called you and had left it at your door." "um, he just left it there?" "yes." "uh, okay....". i hang up and trot down the stairs to find a brown paper bag, teetering on the edge of the window sill on my enclosed front porch. what the frig? despite my instructions to, y'know, RING THE DOORBELL, dude decided to just drop it like it's, um, hot, and make a mad dash. i can only assume he had a severe artichoke allergy or encountered the raccoons that have taken up residence in our 'hood. the worst part? i HATE mayonnaise, but can deal with it in tuna if the fish/mayo ratio is in check - always a risk when ordering from a random place. let's put it this way...thing was a friggin' mayonnaise melt. i threw up in my mouth a little bit just thinking about it. i should have known it was doomed from the start, but i only wish i could have pulled a "home alone" and sneered, "keep the change, ya filthy animal" before mr. runaway made his swift exit.