2020 in review and 2021 goals

in this strangest of years, i didn't do as much as i would have liked—who did?— but here's the big stuff that happened in brief. i: took a solo trip to LA, got laid off, co-wrote a book, made my own ice cream, baked a LOT, got another tattoo (see below), got another job, and adopted a cat.

since a tiny sliver of hope is on the horizon, i'm remaining optimistic and came up with 21 pretty realistic to-dos for '21. i'd love to hear your goals for what's hopefully a better year ahead. 

1. successfully release my first book!

2. book an international trip

3. GO TO A CONCERT

4. host a celebratory dinner party

5. take a french class

6. place a piece somewhere i've never been published before

7. see a movie in a movie theater

8. read 20 9 books

9. have an indulgent, expensive, delicious meal *inside* of a restaurant

10. renew my passport

11. write a letter to myself to open in 10 years

12. make a new friend

13. find out my blood type

14. play the lottery

15. make a collage

16. learn a dance routine

17. chill in a hammock

18. stay in a beach house or cabin

19. compliment a stranger 

20. visit the site of a scene from a movie or tv show

21. make pralines

and here are some best-of 2020 lists...

favorite books:

and now we have everything: on motherhood before i was ready by meaghan o'connell

oona out of order by margarita montimore

spinster by kate bolick

my misspent youth by meghan daum

acid for the children by flea

seinfeldia: how a show about nothing changed everything by jennifer keishin armstrong

we are never meeting in real life by samantha irby

alright alright alright: the oral history of richard linklater's dazed and confused by melissa maerz

favorite movies:

banana split

in a relationship

the king of staten island

straight up

favorite tv shows:

looking for alaska

shrill

the circle

high fidelity

little fires everywhere

being erica

emily in paris (it made me happy, sue me)

favorite albums: 

(if you missed my favorite songs post, that's here.)

(also, harry styles would be included if his album wasn't technically released in 2019.)

the strokes - the new abnormal

momma - two of me

machine gun kelly - tickets to my downfall

hockey dad - brain candy

best coast - always tomorrow

gateway drugs - PSA

pope- the lunchbox EP

random miscellaneous things i loved:

discovering the best dancer i've ever seen in those choreography videos, a french timothée chalamet doppelgänger named andy daveiga

the reply all podcast episode "the case of the missing hit"

the heavyweight podcast episode "bobby"

this documentary about '80s malls on youtube, mall city

dakota johnson's architectural digest house tour:

2020 goals in review:

1. get another tattoo: DONE

third tattoo's a charm? i took the plunge in july, after isolation made me nutty and i was struck with a major case of tattoo fever. i got the three of wands from the wild unknown tarot, which is all about adventure and exploration and life's magic, on my right inner bicep. i absolutely love this description of it:

Three wands are bound together, forming an inverted triangle. As you gaze into the center, you see a rainbow swirl. Is this a vortex? Another dimension? The future? Or something else entirely? That is for you to find out.

Branches jut out from the wands, they stand in contrast to the perfectly pruned wands we saw in the previous card. There is a juxtaposition in this card of structure and liberation: the wands come together to form a cohesive shape, yet the wands themselves are rugged, not perfectly manicured. These wands are free-spirited, yet also collected.

The background is filled with horizontal black lines, indicating a stable energy. This lack of flashiness draws your full attention to the wands, and above all else, to the colorful vision at the center. The swirling rainbow beckons you to leave behind the drab, colorless surroundings and explore all the magic life has to offer!

You are a visionary if you let yourself be one. You can look beyond obstacles. You can see beyond the mundane world. Endless terrain is out there for you to explore, if only you choose to say YES. The Three of Wands offers you a chance to survey the landscape around you. You need not rely on someone else’s map – you are exploring the wilderness for yourself, charting it according to your experience, your interpretation. 

Your future is a blank canvas – and all the colors of the rainbow are available for you to create your experience going forward. There is no guarantee of exactly what you’ll find as you continue your explorations. Magic and wonder abound, yes – but illusions and setbacks are part of the journey, as well.

Some structure is useful, so give yourself a moment to survey your inner and outer landscape. The Three of Wands is about trusting your gut, but it’s also about surveying the energies around you. It is about action, yes – but it is about the kind of action that is born of intention, not impulse. The paradox here is you can only do so much planning and intention setting – eventually, you’ve just got to venture on and see where this portal takes you. 

7. get a photo taken with a celebrity: DONE

and in the first three weeks of the year, to boot! i met hilary duff on the first friggin' night of my LA vacation in january, which was just about the only bright spot in this horrid year. lizzie mcguire forever.

11. meet an internet friend IRL: DONE

also in LA, i met my longtime twitter friend heather at the butcher, the baker, the cappucino maker, where we got colorful lattes and chatted for hours.

14. publish 10 humor pieces: PARTIALLY DONE

my brain was broken for most of the year, because...2020, but i managed to squeak out these three:

naughty post-isolation fantasies (mcsweeney’s)

the bigger picture: to all the panda express employees i've ghosted before

slackjaw: introducing xjessicax, the emo american girl doll

i also self-published a few essays: 

death by digital

time to make the donuts

how to live alone

16. make pizza from scratch: DONE

not the cutest, but i had fun making it, at least.

17. buy myself flowers: DONE

let's hear it for trader joe's $3 bouquets, y'all! 

20 things to do in 2020 and 2019 in review

all in all, 2019 was really good—much, muuuuch better than 2018, that's for damn sure. i wrote an extensive summary of my decade over on medium, but i still had to look back on my favorite parts of the year...and come up with some to-dos for the coming one. cheers!

2020


1. get another tattoo
2. have a drink at the chateau marmont
3. renew my passport
4. attend a writing residency
5. host a dinner party
6. visit one new state (28 down, 22 to go)
7. get a photo taken with a celebrity
8. check out an open mic
9. pay for someone else's coffee
10. try axe throwing
11. meet an internet friend IRL
12. book my next international trip
13. spend a weekend in philadelphia
14. publish 10 7 humor pieces/articles/essays
15. take a candlelight yoga class
16. <strike>make pizza from scratch</strike>
17. buy myself flowers
18. crack the new yorker’s daily shouts
19. do a tarot/fortune telling card reading for someone (i just bought this dope "gypsy witch" deck from 1903 and learning it is FASCINATING/slightly terrifying)
20. find a used book with a message in it and buy it

2019

favorite books:

on writing by stephen king

comedy sex god by pete holmes

trick mirror by jia tolentino


favorite articles (interestingly and unintentionally, all by women): 

"the most gullible man in cambridge" by kera bolonik

"let's meet again in five years" by karen b. kaplan

"do you have a not-so-stranger?" by caroline donofrio (AND THE COMMENTS!)

"dating terms inspired by catfishing"by sara k. runnels

"rihanna's "bitch better have my money, repurposed for freelancers" by riane konc

"i think about this a lot: justin bieber's "call me maybe" lip-sync" by melinda fakuade

"a perfect, preemptive obituary for my ex-boyfriend" by danielle kraese


favorite songs: HERE

favorite albums:

djo - twenty twenty
catfish and the bottlemen - the balance
cherry glazerr - stuffed & ready
girlpool - what chaos is imaginary
oso oso - basking in the glow
the drew thomson foundation - the drew thomson foundation 
starcrawler - devour you
harry styles - fine line 

concerts (favorites bolded):

cherry glazerr
the cadillac three
girlpool
dandy warhols
greta van fleet
rooney
catfish and the bottlemen
jimmy eat world and third eye blind
damone
the struts
phantom planet
incubus
tegan and sara
ben kweller
twin peaks
hanson

favorite tv shows: 

shrill
russian doll
stranger things
modern love
home for christmas

favorite movies:

knives out
booksmart
little women
five feet apart
blinded by the light
someone great

goals:

1. do 1 activity per week that allows me to meet new people: DONE

...because i obviously kept track. highlights included a '70s punk rock photography talk, "buy me boston" old advertising/music scene talk, board game speed dating (because half the guys didn't show up), a drag queen disco bash, the opening of time out market, and the grand opening party for the citizenm boston hotel.

2. take 2 classes: DONE

did an extremely unhelpful summer writing workshop and just finished a pottery class. not for me, but at least i tried!

3. bake 3 desserts (or breads, whatever): DONE

white chocolate lucky charms cookies, atlantic beach pie, and pear tart!

5. place 5 humor pieces or essays: DONE

1.  little old lady comedy: barry manilow rewrites “copacabana” after visiting lohan beach club

2. points in case: i am the woman who bakes brownies for her coworkers on a weeknight, and my life is definitely not crumbling before my eyes

3. mcsweeney’s: i’m an adorable romper, and i’m about to make your life a living hell

4. little old lady comedy: welcome to dating app ninja warrior 

5. weekly humorist: announcing the ex-boyfriend reunion tour

 
6. take 6 trips (at least 1 international): DONE

charleston, new york (3x), provincetown, peru


7. watch 7 new tv shows: ALMOST...6!

shrill, russian doll, tales of the city, modern love, breakfast, lunch & dinner, home for christmas

(carryover from 2018) get my aura photographed: DONE 

stuff i didn't do: volunteer 4 times, take 8 dance classes (only 1), try 9 new dinner recipes (only 5), read 10 books (only 6)

a 2017 to-do list

i'll admit that, while there are still a few days left in this year, i made a real paltry showing in 2016. out of 40 items, i was only able to accomplish 15. :(  however, it's only made me more determined than ever to attack 2017 and make shit happen. what do you want to cross off of your list next year?

1. visit seattle & portland
2. related: catch a fish at pike place market (i saw someone catch one; does that count?)
3. also related: order the maple blazer blunt doughnut at voodoo doughnut
4. get a hot stone massage
5. tell a story at a MOTH story slam
6. book a trip to south america (possibly this one)
7. write and place five one new essay
8. attend an art gallery opening
9. make my own cheese
10. get another tattoo
11. jump into a ball pit
12. order a drink at an old-fashioned soda fountain
13. create 4 crafts, one for each season
14. move into a new home that i love
15. spend the day at an amusement park
16. ride in a horse-drawn carriage
17. read seinfeldia
18. order room service
19. visit washington depot, CT (the inspiration for stars hollow in gilmore girls)
20. pay it forward at a drive-thru
21. travel by train
22. stay overnight at the house i was born in (which has been turned into a b&b)
23. dine at il pesce at eataly boston
24. drink something from a coconut
25. host a theme party
26. run a 5k
27. adopt a shelter cat
28. make a recipe from anthony bourdain's appetites cookbook
29. go see a stand-up comedian i really like but haven't seen live (maybe: joe list, aziz ansari, or rod man)
30. take a weekend trip to the hudson valley
31. swim in a rooftop pool
32. [keeping to myself]
33. start a conversation with a stranger at a bar
34. go to a renaissance fair and order a giant turkey leg
35. do a tarot card reading for someone
36. go on a photo expedition to somewhere that's been abandoned
37. make a jar salad
38. have drinks with a band i like
39. find and buy liz phair's exile in guyville on vinyl from a brick-and-mortar record store
40. crash a wedding (this will be on the list until i do it)

my 2016 to-do list: 6-month update

so ... i gots a lot to do. out of the 40 items i set out to complete, i've only accomplished 8 of 'em:

2. have high tea in london
the most 'grammable tea groupon could buy.

3. drink coffee & eat a croissant at a sidewalk cafe in paris 
i got a crepe instead, since the waitress was being mad rude...cigarette emoji for dramatic effect

4. visit an amsterdam coffee shop 
twice...really don't want to remember the latter experience

10. celebrate my 30th birthday in style
said "hey, what's up, hello" to the big 3-0 with a little soiree on the patio of one of my favorite local restaurants with booze, music, food, and some of the best people i know.

19. watch live jazz
twice! at the beat brasserie in cambridge, and wally's in the south end.

27. see the mona lisa at the louvre
naaaailed it.

33. organize my gmail inbox (and get to 0) ... of course, it's back to being a hot mess now


that means i have 32 left. here are some of the "reach" ones i might need some help with. anyone?

8. CRASH A DAMN WEDDING
9. complete my book manuscript
25. go skinny-dipping
26. visit 4 new states (to reach 30 states visited)
32. buy a home
37. visit montreal

my 2016 to-do list

for my list this year -- the sixth annual -- i pared it down a bit from 2015's 50 items, since i've only accomplished like 18ish of 'em. ugh. there are a few repeats here; mostly ones from my 30 before 30 list, which i've bolded. five months left for those. what do y'all want to accomplish next year? LEGGO!

1. submit an essay to the new york times' "modern love" column
2. have high tea in london
3. drink coffee & eat a croissant crepe at a sidewalk cafe in paris
4. visit an amsterdam coffee shop
5. finish reading sloane crosley's the clasp
6. take a contemporary dance class
7. see the neighbourhood in concert
8. CRASH A DAMN WEDDING 
9. complete my book manuscript
10. celebrate my 30th birthday in style
11. ride a bike
12. take a day/weekend trip to providence and/or newport, RI (i've never been, somehow??)
13. attend a music festival (maybe firefly, so i can also cross off #7)
14. whiten my teeth
15. sing karaoke (preferably a rap song)
16. make my own pasta
17. buy a t-shirt at a concert
18. sleep under the stars
19. watch live jazz
20. buy myself a bouquet of flowers
21. give a toast
22. go meatless for a week
23. eat at one of the roxy's grilled cheese brick-and-mortars
24. see a double feature at the capitol theatre
25. go skinny-dipping
26. visit 3 new states (to reach 30 states visited...this will be tough since most options are in the midwest and west)
27. see the mona lisa at the louvre
28. learn this dance routine
29. take a ski lesson
30. have breakfast in bed
31. buy something handmade from etsy
32. buy a home (???)
33. organize my gmail inbox (and get to 0!)
34. order a tasting menu
35. attend the big e
36. learn conversational french (ideally before my trip)
37. visit montreal
38. stay in a cabin or cottage
39. see blue man group
40. take a writing class or workshop at grub street

my 2015 to-do list

as i began to draft my annual list of things to do, i realized that i'm headed into my 29th year. STOP THE WORLD,  I WANT TO GET OFF. jk, i'm (sort of) cool with it. but i had to dig deep into my 30 before 30 list this time around, considering that i've only completed 7ish of the items on it thus far. there are a couple repeats from years past on here -- can someone please crash a wedding with me?! -- but i'm feeling confident that i can make most of these happen.

what do you want to accomplish in the new year?

1. learn to parallel park
2. secure a book deal
3. go skinny-dipping
4. get my cheeseburger tattoo
5. see the grand canyon
6. kiss in the rain
7. go zip lining
8. meet dave grohl (ok, i'll settle for any famous musician ... but bonus points for dave grohl)
9. do something in vegas that stays in vegas
10.strike up a conversation with a stranger on public transportation
11. go to the zoo
12. pose for a photo in front of tom's restaurant in NYC
13. read i wear the black hat by chuck klosterman
14. start a daily journal
15. [keeping this one to myself]
16. cook dinner for someone
17. attend a celtics game
18. make a fancy cocktail for myself
19. go climbing at brooklyn boulders in somerville
20. have a happy & fulfilling romantic relationship with a grown-ass, emotionally available man
21. ride a rollercoaster
22. dine at the top of the hub
23. buy a home (let's try this again ...)
24. bake one of each of the following: a bread, a cake, a pie, a pastry, and a cookie
25. see a drive-in movie (can you believe i've never been?!)
26. leave a lucky penny for someone to find
27. see a band that i love for the first time in concert
28. book the trip to london/paris/amsterdam that i've been dreaming about for 3 years
29.order a whiskey flight at citizen public & oyster house
30. get ice cream delivery from scoopsies
31. do a "cleanse" (maybe after the ice cream delivery?)
32. relax in a hot tub
33. visit an island
34. begin a collection (i'm thinking souvenir mugs)
35. buy a meal for a homeless person
36. read a famous memoir
37. submit something that i wrote to an anthology
38. go pear-picking
39. make cold-brewed coffee
40. go to a strip club
41. crash a wedding
42. send a snail-mail letter
43. take a class for fun
44. get a tarot reading at the tremont tea room
45. see a movie and then read the book it was based on
46. complete the new york times sunday crossword in one hour or less
47. hang out in a tree house
48. play blackjack
49. attend a dance performance
50.meet someone from twitter in person

sup, summer?

IT'S SUMMER, GUYS! well, not technically. but close enough, eh? visions of sundresses and froyo and people-watching on the hampton beach boardwalk are totally dancing in my head. i decided to come up with some foolproof ingredients for an amazing summer. add your own in the comments!

a great playlist.

in 2011, my friend gleni and i decided to start theming every summer. that first one was the "summer of why not?" and it was followed by 2012's "mayan summer" (because it had a much better ring than "YOLO") and 2013's "no-bummer summer." this year we were feeling all magical and idealistic and so "utopian summer" is the theme of the 2014 season. i put together a preliminary set of jams that will expand as the summer rolls on. dig it:

utopian summer playlist

a trip to remember.

it doesn't have to be a super-lavish vacation or anything, but every summer should have at least ONE day or weekend trip that recharges your batteries and ideally involves sunshine and water and seafood and shops that sell fudge and/or ice cream. as a new englander i'm obviously a little biased towards coastal maine and the new hampshire seacoast and such, because ... LOBSTAH.

a music festival. 

even if you're not going all bonnaroo and becoming one with nature and port-a-potties for an entire weekend, seeing a bunch of random acts with your friends while eating chicken fingers and drinking beer is always a good time. you might even discover your new favorite band!

an outdoor movie.

i've been noticing that a ton of theaters do "summer rewind" events that feature cult classics from the '80s or '90s. and instead of shuffling into a cold, dark theater, you get to enjoy them from the comfort of a plastic lawn chair in the middle of a park or something. possibly less comfortable, but infinitely more fun.

a picnic.

the reality is probably more full of ants and mosquitos and getting grass all over your legs, but the idea of a picnic is just so adorable. like, whipping up some jar salads and an antipasto loaf and making fresh-squeezed lemonade and sitting on one of those red-and-white gingham blankets. will someone make this happen with me?!

a roofdeck/patio/deck experience.

sangria + patio = guaranteed awesome, every time. whether you're just hanging out after work and dining al fresco or happen to be friends with that guy that has the killer roofdeck, finding some outdoor spot to chill on a perfect summer evening is essential. also, if you're reading this and you have a killer roofdeck, please contact me ASAP.

my 2014 to-do list

four years ago, i decided that resolutions pretty much suck, and that it's so much more satisfying -- and tangible -- to check the items off as you go through the year. an annual "things to do" list was born! after coming up with 100 things for 2011 and 2012, i pared it down to 50 for 2013 and got even more focused this year. going for quality over quantity, and repeating some that i still haven't accomplished (#3, #27, #39). what do you want to tick off of your list in 2014?

1. purchase a home
2. visit new orleans
3. be in a music video
4. take a cooking class
5. swim in an infinity pool
6. finish my book proposal
7. learn enough french to get around
8. use a terrible pick-up line on a random guy
9. visit somewhere that's haunted
10. color my hair
11. get business cards
12. dine at 5  restaurants on the eater boston 38
13. make a collage
14. watch a whole TV series that i've never seen before
15. take the jeopardy online test
16. try air bnb
17. get something that i wrote published on mcsweeney's
18. go to a state fair
19. do volunteer work
20. visit martha's vineyard
21. drink a "green smoothie" :(
22. overcome my eyelash-curling phobia
23. write to a celebrity and receive a response (online or via snail mail)
24. see a (non-musical) play
25. say "yes" to something i want to say "no" to at first
26. make my own sushi
27. crash a wedding
28. buy a plant for my apartment (and don't kill it)
29. participate in a scavenger hunt
30. reconnect with an old friend or acquaintance
31. teach myself a dance routine via youtube tutorial
32. go sailing (or, at least, on a sailboat)
33. pack a picnic lunch and eat it on boston common
34. win at pub trivia
35. go to an ice bar
36. make my own pizza
37. win money from a slot machine or scratch ticket
38. send christmas cards
39. go out to dinner by myself
40. watch 5 movies on the IMDB top 250 that i've never seen before