5 things i love right now

you know, aside from "old town road."

1. this new album by the drums, brutalism



more than any other musical element, a great, infectious melody can completely make a song for me. and the latest record from jonathan pierce aka the only remaining member of the drums is chock-full of 'em. its dreamy, surf-y vibe is totally perfect for spring. apparently, many longtime fans don't like the new sound...which, of course, means i do. :) my favorite tune so far is the breezy "626 bedford avenue."

2. this movie, the boy band con

as a bona fide "old millennial," the boy band craze was an integral, amazing, wonderful part of my life from ages 11 through 32. i mean, uh, 16. i loved backstreet (nick!), 'n sync (ehh, JC i guess), o-town (dan!), LFO (brad?)—basically everyone except 98 degrees because they were too vanilla for my edgier pop palate and by that i mean they had zero songs with bizarre, heavy-handed sexual innuendo. lame!

i digress. i obviously had to watch the tell-all about the man behind it all: the late, disgraced, ponzi-scheming mogul lou pearlman, so i signed up for a youtube premium trial and canceled it immediately after viewing. honestly, i can pinpoint the moment back in high school when my friend molly and i knew he was creepy as fuck: during a scene early on in making the band when he said "papa's here to protect." shudder. we started saying it apropos of nothing because we thought it was as funny as it was gross, but...ugh.

there wasn't much it revealed that i didn't know before, but the nostalgia of the TRL clips, ashley parker angel's surprisingly insightful commentary, and aaron carter looking ROUGH while defending lou made it worth watching, especially if you're a woman of my certain age.

3. this clothing company, stoned immaculate

okay, so this brand showed up in my instagram feed as a #sponsored post and i felt personally blessed and attacked at the same time. blessed because every single item of clothing is extreeeeemely my shit. their tagline is "vintage inspired woman’s clothing for the dazed & confused," for god's sake! attacked because big brother is clearly watching and because every single item of clothing is at least $100. blaaaah.

4. this now-defunct podcast, mystery show

the great poet lil uzi vert once said, "all my friends are dead." well, all my podcasts are dead. it never fails that my favorites always get canned after a short while (FOUND, why oh why) or, by the time i discover them, they're long gone. such is the case with this one, which came recommended by my friend sarah last week. i dug into the first episode on monday and binged all six by wednesday.

the premise is simple: host starlee kine solves kinda quirky human interest mysteries (i.e. a writer whose obscure book only sold 1,000 copies total sees a paparazzi picture of britney spears holding the book and confusion/intrigue ensues).

my favorite episode, however, was about this badass belt buckle a child found in the street—pictured above. yes, that's a toaster, and a frying pan with eggs, and the name "HANS JORDI." but who's hans jordi, and what was the deal with this belt buckle? you gotta listen to find out, folks. probably the most entertaining podcast episode i've listened to since the reply all "long distance" one. and really, all of the episodes are incredible.

5. this new chocolate-cherry cold brew from dunkin' donuts

i've explained before that i'm one of those weirdos that always tries new food and beverages born out of desperation for product innovation at corporate headquarters. they're almost always short-lived, being discontinued mere weeks or months after they arrive. so i've learned to act fast.

my latest foray is the chocolate-cherry cold brew from dunkin' DONUTS (i will never stop adding the donuts and nobody will stop me). it's basically just cold brew with some sort of "natural" syrup in it, but it is delicious, and the fact that i can drink it black is absolutely huge. now, i wouldn't say it necessarily tastes a ton like chocolate or cherries...it's subtle. refined, even. jk, that's a stretch. 

nautical, fried vibes: portland 2018

i'm sure it comes as a surprise to absolutely no one that i went to portland, maine again this weekend. it's the fourth year in a row that i've visited in late summer when the weather is primo, so my idealistic view is "extremely skewed" according to my friend jacob, but i am totally fine with living in blissful, skewed denial because it was glorious as always. except for the short time at the end of saturday night when i finally laid down and my stomach was all "DID YOU REALLY NEED TO CONSUME THAT MUCH, YOU HEATHEN?"...just like it does every year. by morning i was ready for breakfast at like 7:30 though, so it was fine!

i drove into town listening to "deserted" by blind melon, and had a flashback to last summer when we were eating big sicilian-style slices of pizza at a place called slab and "no rain" was playing in the pizza place. it then occurred to me that blind melon's sound is like, the sound of portland to me—all hippie and jammy and early '90s and chill—so they will now and forevermore be my official portland band.

ANYWAY! jacob no longer lives in the dreamy east end apartment where i took these pictures over the past few years and as i mentioned in a recent blog post, i am still very, very sad about it:

i know, i know, i need to accept this ending and move on, even if it's extremely difficult. his new(ish) place in the west end is nice as well and has v charming historic details on the stoop (below). as a bonus, it's a two-minute walk from tandem, which i have written about before, but will write about again (later).

FOOD

the porthole

after strolling the eastern promenade, we wandered down to this big, standard seafood restaurant with a standard name in old port to get the "nautical, fried vibes" going, as jacob so eloquently put it. we sat on the deck, and i had a beer and biiig lobster roll with drawn butter, which was actually one of the best lobster rolls i've ever had. i also stalked this beee-autiful boat.

 

gorgeous gelato

i'd never had gelato in portland for some reason, so late saturday afternoon was the perfect time to remedy that (except for the fact that this place was POPPIN' and a little overwhelming). the orange chocolate flavor was delightful! apparently, portlanders tend to have a favorite between gorgeous and its competitor, gelato fiasco. fully planning on heading over there next summer to see who reigns supreme.

paciarino

an airy little bistro specializing in pasta, paciarino was mostly a lovely choice for dinner, but the service left a bit to be desired. as you can see from the pictures, we were basically the first people to arrive for dinner and it filled up fast, but our food took a solid 45-50 minutes. like, i'm usually very laid back about that stuff, but literally 3/4 of the other tables had their meals. so, jacob's boyfriend said, very nicely, "could you check on our food, please?" to the waiter, and he replied with a flippant "no, it's okay, it's coming." and, funny enough, it arrived like 15 minutes later. anyone want to bet he forgot to put the order in?

my maccheroni paesani (or "MACKERONEY PAYZANNY" as my american ass probably pronounced it) was quite good, but it reminded me that i have this weird pasta issue where i don't really like short noodles? i know, it's incredibly stupid and makes no sense to me, either. but i basically only like angel hair, spaghetti, linguini, and fettucine, and i feel like long noodles just enhance every dish. what i'm saying is i would have enjoyed this meal 200% more if it involved larger pasta. which is obviously why i ordered a dish that was explicitly described as having short-ribbed pasta!

 
the bar of chocolate

fiiiiinally! we went here once before despite being too full to eat any dessert and i had like, a piece of bread and jacob had a ginger ale and it was very pointless. this time, after a beer at lone pine, i remembered that this place existed and just had to get myself a cup of coffee and a piece of chocolate cake with peanut butter frosting because at 32, that's just what you do on saturday nights at 9, right? hit the spot.

silly's

very, very, extremely silly in the best way. it was like willy wonka and clarissa darling opened a restaurant and i was all about the bizarre mishmash of decor and color, even though it was bit much to deal with at 9am. they even had a little trough for pups! i got the "sillytoast," which had whipped cream and berries and almonds, but my pun-tastic favorites on the menu included "holla-daised and confused," "what the shell is that!" and "don't lose your tempeh."

 

DRINK

tandem 

this may be the only spot i've been to every single year. it's your typical hipster coffee shop in a converted gas station, but...it has a secret weapon: malt iced coffee. yup, you read that right, and it's just as delicious as it sounds. unfortunately, bon appetit declared portland its "2018 restaurant city of the year" in this month's issue and they began the article by recommending good ol' tandem, so the line was around the corner almost every time we walked by. we lucked out at one point, and i got to drink that sweet, sweet fuel, and then we took pictures of each other.

el rayo

didn't eat the food here, BUT i had a cocktail that consisted solely of fresca and tequila (that had a little plastic shark in it) and then drank it on a patio, so what more could you want?

lone pine brewing company 

we met my friend jenny here for a beer, and the atmosphere on the patio was lovely. there were some acoustic pop/rock/country covers happening in the taproom and it was very bright and very loud, so we hung outside with the dogs and the breeze instead.

FUN

record shopping

we went to all six (?) of portland's record stores and i got are you experienced, which i already had, but the first one i bought was used and scratched to shit and i've never been able to listen to it. so...redemption! this store i can't remember the name of also had the best categories ever.

funny signs and graffiti

as a very amateur photographer, i guess i tend to be on the lookout for unusual things to begin with, but i aaaalways see so much weird graffiti and so many silly signs in portland. jacob even joked that i'm "portland's foremost graffiti-spotter" because he'd never noticed any of the things i point out.

oh, speaking of weird stuff, in case any of y'all voted in the only instagram story poll i've ever done, here were the extremely close results:

  spoiler alert: we did not go to see lil' jon. but we did see some other equally amusing stuff.

GUITAR GRAVE

oh god, not the vegan vandal!

 

it's not funny, but strange maine put their sign back up and i was so happy!

i kept calling this "ye olde vape"

big mood

"rocket ships" lolz

i googled this and it's just a food truck so i'm going to pretend i didn't google it

church

jacob's bf is a classical pianist, and sometimes plays at this unitarian church in portland. so he let us into this big-ass gorgeous church while i was drunk on fresca tequila and played songs for us! is being drunk on fresca tequila a mortal sin?

wall-posing

portland has so many murals and so much street art, and it just brings out my inner basic bitch. and this year, it was even worse because i had that '90s huji app. oh god.

and that's a wrap on portland '18. already looking forward to another dose of blind melon vibes and hippie magic next summer!

buzzin'

is there a way i can, like...get paid to visit and critique coffee shops for the rest of my life? because that's just really what i'm all about. it's taken many, many cups and and many, many dollars and many, many packets of raw cane sugar to get to where i am today, so i thought i'd thank 10 of the most wonderful spots around the country (and world) for delighting me with their cuteness, caffeine, and croissants.

1. crucial coffee (st. augustine, FL)

it's been five years and i still dream about this quaint little shack. not only was it adorable, but i had a *snickers cappuccino* that blew my mind. there was also a very gilmore-girlsy busker singing outside while i enjoyed it, so bonus points for that.

2. union coffee company (milford, NH)

tbh, i'm a bit peeved that this place didn't exist when i was in high school, but at least i get to revel in its charms when i visit my folks. it's one of those oh-so-hip combinations of a coffee shop and bar, and hosts live music as well. it's rustic yet airy, and the coffee and lattes (with house-made syrups, obv) are top-notch.


3. FIDO (nashville, TN)

i spent like, 3 days in nashville, and went here twice because i was so obsessed. sure, a lot of that had to do with the paintings of cats in outer space that adorned the walls, but the whole scene was uber-90s and they did latte art and it made you feel like you were in a TV show hangout. to quote 2 chainz, "it's a viiiibe."

4. stardust video and coffee (orlando, FL)

nobody believes me when i tell them that orlando had the most intense, pretentious hipster community i've ever seen in my life, but it's true. it was super strange, especially coming from the intellectual-snob capital of the country, but the baristas (and some patrons) were such dicks, everywhere i went! i honestly wanted to be like, "dude...you live in FLORIDA. get a grip." but i resisted. the staff at this combination DVD rental/coffee shop/bar/cafe were no exception--very, very rude--but i let it slide because just LOOK at it. it's like anthropologie started serving food and drinks. sure, no one rents DVDs anymore, but the whole concept is just so manic pixie dream girl, i couldn't not love it. psst...the drunken monkey was my second favorite spot, in case you ever find yourself craving caffeine in the city beautiful.

5. kookoo cafe (brookline, MA)

speaking of beauty, i just want to pinch kookoo cafe's cheeks. it's the size of a closet, and chock-full of all of the quirky decor that you might find in one, too. the staff is friendly, the coffee is strong, and the food is yummy; lots of authentic middle-eastern treats.


6. tandem coffee roasters (portland, ME)

a converted '60s gas station, this is always a must-visit for me on my annual summer jaunt to portland. not only is it so incredibly aesthetically pleasing, but the malt iced coffee is to die for.

7. cafe on the common (waltham, MA)

so chill. so sunny. and in the middle of downtown waltham, which is low-key ghetto? surely, you jest. as a major bonus, it's massive and there's so many places to sit and read or work or chat.


8. hart and lova (london, england)

what a hidden gem. though gleni and i were staying in kind of a random area of london which didn't have a ton to offer, we came across this absolutely adorable cafe and bakery that was straight out of a fairytale. so proper. squee. 


9. the fresh pot (portland, OR)

i popped in here to charge my phone last year during my trip to seattle and portland, and what a wonderful decision that was. yeah, they were out of cold brew and only had nitro cold brew and i was bouncing off the walls for an hour, but the dark wood and rustic ambiance just counteracted that real quick. or maybe that was just a contact high, because portland.


10. java dog (wilmington, NC)

this coffee shop should have had a starring role on dawson's creek, man. it's two floors, and the upstairs felt like a loft in someone's apartment. it also seemed to be a hangout for local students, and i immediately felt pressured to give a really chill college kid name, like taylor or hannah, to the barista.

what are some of your favorite places to get your fix?