Showing posts with label hip-hop. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hip-hop. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

i wanna be like killer mike



in the year of our lord, 2015, the great philosopher big sean (sean don if you're nasty) rapped, "i wrote myself a million dollar check in fifth grade/I put it on the wall and promised it'd be this way." while the line doesn't quiiiite rhyme, the motivational sentiment remains.

clearly, my man sean is also a proponent of the law of attraction. i was intrigued when i heard this lyric, as the LOA typically appeals to bizarre middle-aged white men that host sweat lodge retreats, millennials who read the secret and attribute every good or bad event to *~the universe~* (guilty as charged), and jim carrey. the basic tenet is that like attracts like, and that positive thinking brings about more positive circumstances in our lives. pretty straightforward stuff. and then, i realized what i love about hip-hop. well, besides those sick beats that i bump in my impreza en route to my corporate job, and the fetty wap lyric, "so fine, i swear i see you with my left eye."  what i love is the unapologetic arrogance of its key players. all dj khaled does is win. every time you see drake, it looks like he hit the lotto TWICE. 2 chainz just ate a $300 hamburger. lil' wayne's been fly so long, he fell asleep on the fuckin' plane! nicki minaj is on a diet, but she's doing donuts in the six-speed. and don't even get me started on kanye.

while some may view this ridiculous bravado as off-putting, i think it should be an inspiration to us all, honestly. misogynistic lyrics aside, i think that all of the bragging and boasting can certainly be applied (more humbly, natch) to our own ambitions and pursuits. i won't go so far as to say that these mainstream rappers are lacking in talent; have you heard some of kendrick lamar's brilliant verses? but also, have you heard some of french montana's terrible verses? "shorty saw the wings on the car/she forgot about her plans for tomorrow?" i could probably freestyle something that's ten times better ... and probably have, after a few glasses of riesling. i think that was also the night i felt inspired by chris brown to change my tinder tagline to "i don't fuck with broke bitches." but i digress.

my point is, it seems to me that most of these guys quite literally faked it 'til they made it, writing rhymes about bugattis, bling, and bitches until that actually became their reality. or such is the story they tell us. for all we know, they could be living at a holiday inn and relying on food stamps. but we buy into their larger-than-life projections and set our sights on more for ourselves, with aspiring teenagers peddling mix tapes on the street and upper-middle-class women like myself trying to twerk at suburban dinner parties.

you may not dream about fancy cars or private jets or gold grills. personally, i'd feel pretty pimpin' with a six-figure salary, a published book, and an apartment with in-unit laundry. when i crank up the waka flocka flame as i'm churning out a blog post, or nod along with rich homie quan while i'm lugging my sheets and towels to the washing machine in the basement, all of those things feel a bit more within reach, thanks to their not-so-quiet confidence.

come to think of it, i guess a million dollar check would be pretty nice, too.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

top 5 potential summer jam THROWDOWN

ah, the summer jam. there's one every year, and some years are better than others (for example, last year? "party rock anthem" was pretty much the only contender, while 2010 was filled with "club bangers" like usher's "o.m.g." & "dj got us falling in love", katy perry's "california gurls", enrique iglesias' "i like it", etc. etc.). summer is fast approaching, and WE NEED TO FIGURE OUT OUR SUMMER JAM, GUYS! the clock is ticking. here are my top picks. what do y'all think?

1. stefano f/ new boys and rock mafia - "i'm on a roll"



okay, so i was totally acting too cool when mr. langone returned to his idol stomping grounds last week to perform this tune and was all like, "HAHA STEFANO, LAAAME". but then the hook dug its way into my head. and then i looked up the song on youtube. and then i became obsessed. damn you, stefano! this tune has what i consider to be all the essential elements of a summer jam: 1. catchy as haaaale 2. danceable 3. lyrics with no real purpose except to make people want to love life and sing in the car and fist pump 4. a rap interlude. this one could go. all. the. waaayyyyy!

2. karmin - "brokenhearted"



karmin is pretty polarizing, though i can't quite tell how i feel about them. the face-pulling and semi-annoying rapping of the lead singer bothers me pretty badly, but i have to admit that they have some pop song skillz. this one is aiight, but i think it lacks a bit of the punch necessary to be a true summer jam.

3. flo rida - "whistle"



i'm no prude, but "can you blow my whistle, baby?" COME ON, FLO. leave a little mystery, for god sakes! i feel like this one is a little too risque to have mass summer jam appeal, but the whistling is kind of fun. i was considering including "wild ones" on this list, but i feel like it's already too played out (along with "call me maybe" and "boyfriend"). it's all about timing!

4. wiz khalifa - "no sleep"



liking the vibe of this. it's perfect for having some cocktails at a barbeque or lounging on the beach, half-hungover. i think it's a bit too sleepy to take the crown, though.

5. b.o.b. - "so good"



this has been out for a while, but i don't think it's approached the point of oversaturation and it's got good potential for this summer, talking about beaches in mexico and living the good life and all that jazz. the singalong chorus is totally made for driving with the top down and taking it easy.




Wednesday, June 9, 2010

i'm livin' life right now, mang


my god, how have i gone this long without blogging about my dear drake/aubrey/wheelchair jimmy?! as many who are close to me know and have witnessed, i have a tendency to randomly interrupt IM/gchat conversations with a drake lyric outburst - "drake tourette's", as i've dubbed it, and i ponder philosophical questions like "would wheelchair jimmy listen to drake?"

let's rewind and pause. for those not in the know, the rapper we all know and love as drake- real name aubrey graham- spent his formative years playing basketball player jimmy on the teen melodrama degrassi. the wheelchair part came when terri's abusive boyfriend rick shot him, but we'll deal with that later (not really). 

the point is that not once during his lengthy degrassi stint did i ever find him remotely attractive. but have him drop a few raunchy lines, drop his first name and pair him up with weezy, and i'm salivating. crazy. now i've got a full-blown drake addiction. combine that with the fact that a new video of something funny happening to him onstage hits youtube seemingly every day (drake falling! drake being flashed and forgetting the words! drake accidentally catching some crazy chick's underwear!) it's really endless entertainment.