when i sat down one fateful night last year to watch some reality show called "jersey shore", i wasn't expecting much. guidos and guidettes, uber tans and jagerbombs...i see as much on the north shore every weekend. little prepared me for the attachment i would soon develop to snooki, vinny, ronnie, sammie, jwoww, pauly d, and my favorite...a man that called himself "the situation". one of his opening lines was, "everybody loves the situation. and if you don't love the situation, i'm gonna make you love the situation." pure poetry. he then continued to woo me with gems like "pauly immediately fled the scene and left me in harm's way. i was takin' heavy fire", and when he referred to an unfortunate-looking bimbo as a "grenade" and her heavy-set friend as a "grenade launcher" i knew it was the beginning of a beautiful thing.
as luck would have it, my ever-so-fabulous hairdresser mentioned earlier in the spring that my favorite reality star would be appearing at some point in the area in june. turns out it was at rain, my new favorite nightclub attached to a bowling alley in malden, approximately 3 miles from my house. naturally, this was a priority. i brought along kari, my dear former roommate from my freshman year of college, who loves the situation as much as i. while it was a long wait (staked out at 9pm, he didn't show up til after 12 - that's dedication) the fantastic pictures were oh-so-worth it.
he shook hands with us (twice!), fist-pumped, drank what looked like a screwdriver, and even flashed his abs for the squealing girls in the crowd. it was, to put it mildly, a situation and a half. when the night was over, i gleefully speculated that someday, i'll fondly tell my grandchildren about meeting the man, the myth....the situation.