100 things to do in 2012

it's that time again! though i've been doing this list since 2010, last year was the first that i actually blogged about it and kept track of my progress. it was pretty fun, so i decided to do it again. i got pretty ambitious for 2012 (mostly just to piss off the mayan apocalypse believers, if there are even any left). as always, i'd love to hear what's on your lists!

1. go to europe

2. make my own ice cream

3. learn to say hello in 50 languages

4. visit san francisco

5. go to a talk show taping

6. go to a show at the social

7. take a boat ride

8. meet a celebrity and take a picture with them

9. go to the south beach wine & food festival

10. make $2,000 in freelance

11. take a pottery class

12. go to an open house (with no intention of buying)

13. get VIP treatment at a nightclub

14. visit nashville

15. swim with dolphins

16. go to the icebar in orlando

17. be in a music video

18. go out to a sit-down dinner by myself

19. eat alligator

20. get a massage

21. visit the location of a TV/movie scene

22. take pictures in a photobooth

23. go to tampa & st. petersburg

24. drink a specialty martini at blue martini

25. make my own sushi

26. go to the rock & roll hall of fame induction ceremony (jacob's idea - i'm on the fence)

27. read a whole book in one day

28. send christmas cards

29. watch 26 new movies, one for each letter of the alphabet

30. go roller skating

31. go to universal studios

32. be part of a dance-off

33. attend a midnight movie showing

34. make my own bread

35. drink absinthe

36.make a wish at the trevi fountain

37. stay at a bed & breakfast

38. memorize busta rhymes' verse in "look at me now" (note to self: watch THIS for help - 1:04)

39. go to an orlando magic game

40. visit a citrus grove

41. drive the sunshine skyway bridge

42. give more than a 20% tip

43. see a bruins game in florida

44. see a musical

45. have a candlelight dinner

46. make a painting

47. dance in the street

48. bake and decorate a cake

49. cook my way through a cookbook

50. tour the everglades

51. go to a mass at the church around the corner from my apartment

52. wear red lipstick

53. roast marshmallows over a fire

54. take a bubble bath

55. stay in a beach house

56. pop champagne (...'cause we got that dough)

57. shake anthony bourdain's hand

58. party in miami

59. successfully submit an essay i wrote to another anthology

60. clean out my purse

61. watch one of the harry potter movies

62. use a fake name at starbucks

63. go speed dating

64. maintain a 4.0 GPA in grad school

65. practice gratitude every day

66. participate in a sing-along

67. visit a friend in another state

68. feed the ducks in the pond at my apartment complex

69. hang out with a band after a show

70. leave an inspirational note for someone else to find

71. take a tennis lesson

72. ride a bike

73. try on clothes i can't afford

74. have a ryan gosling movie marathon

75. laugh so hard i cry

76. win a trip

77. find one new song that i like each week

78. go completely soda-free for a month

79. make my nails look really awesome

80. go to a local punk show (like the good ol' days)

81. eat chicken and waffles

82. give money to a busker

83. fall in love

84. crash a wedding

85. read 5 classic novels

86. finally get my cheeseburger tattoo!

87. take a spontaneous day trip

88. initiate conversation with a guy at a bar (a.k.a. "grab somebody sexy, tell 'em 'hey!')

89. use a coupon at the grocery store

90. secure a literary agent

91. buy a scratch ticket

92. perform a song in public (live or youtube)

93. go to a fashion show

94. go without TV and internet for 24 hours

95. visit the home i was born in (now a B&B)

96. eat at a hibachi steakhouse

97. make my mom's potato salad recipe

98. nap in a hammock

99. play a dance game on wii

100. buy a pair of impractically high heels

joys and secrets: winter 11-12 mix

i know that tomorrow's the first official day of winter, but whatever. you're probably sick of christmas tunes, so think of this mix as a little present from me. i got in a tiny bit of trouble for being totally illegal in the past with these things (basically just the DMCA yelling at me, but it was only a matter of time...sigh), so i've decided to go the spotify route this time. if you don't have it, get it so you can enjoy it. tracklist below - listen in order for the best results. get it HERE.

tracklist:

1. the soft pack - answer to yourself

2. ultimate fakebook - goddamn dance craze

3. t. rex - 20th century boy

4. FIDLAR - oh (warning: this will probably become your new favorite song/band/everything. i mean, their name stands for "Fuck It Dog, Life's A Risk". obsessed.)

5. ace hood f/ chris brown - body 2 body (i hate this song for making me find chris brown attractive again.)

6. wye oak - holy holy

7. guards - do it again

8. ambulance LTD - ophelia

9. the star spangles - stay away from me

10. rooney - here today, gone tomorrow (this is a ramones cover...and as a huge fan, dare i say it's better than the original)

11. mazes- no way

12. colette carr - (we do it) primo

13. phantom planet - do the panic (live)

14. the distillers - drain the blood

15. someone still loves you, boris yeltsin - yellow missing signs

16. mando diao - sheepdog

a hug in a mug: max brenner hot chocolate

since i'm home for winter break in new hampshire, i finally got the chance to make my first visit back to boston since july. despite the absolutely FREEZING temps, it felt so great to be back. and actually, the cold weather led me to warm up in max brenner, a chocolate cafe known worldwide for their hot cocoa, before a night out in the city with some friends. despite it being early on a saturday evening, i was able to snag a small table near the bar. the environment is comfy-cozy and inviting, with warm, um, chocolatey tones and soft lighting throughout the restaurant.

while they offer several varieties of hot chocolate, including mexican spicy, italian, and swiss, i went with the milk chocolate "melting marshmallow" cocoa. it came in what the folks at MB call a "hug mug", with no handles so you can drink it with two hands (see photo above). and yes, it had that many marshmallows in it. the verdict? best hot choc i've ever had. unfortunately, the only u.s. locations thus far are in NYC, boston, vegas, and philly, so for now it'll just have to be a special treat. and at $5.95 a cup, i can't really afford for it to be more than that...but it was SO worth it. get yo' chocolate on!

underrated christmas favorites

eating too much, drinking too much, shopping too much...what's not to love about the holiday season?! while there are many things i enjoy about this time of year, a few stand out above the rest as helping me to be my merriest and brightest.

1. all i want for christmas

sometimes i feel like i'm the only person that's ever seen this movie, but it's usually on tv at least once or twice in december. never mind the fact that i have it on dvd because i can't get enough of a young ethan embry (then, ethan randall), his dad's apartment with a pinball machine in it, a cute mouse named snowball, kevin nealon as his mom's mean new boyfriend, his crush from boston with perfect hair, and all of the other things that make this movie a classic.

2. hanson's christmas album, snowed in

i am completely, 100% dead serious when i say that this is the best christmas album ever made. i have listened to it every year since thanksgiving day in 1997 when my parents surprised my teenybopping-ass with it. flawless from beginning to end. youtube sampler above for you poor, deprived souls who have never heard this gem.

3. eggnog

i kind of pretend to be cool and say i enjoy eggnog mostly for the spiking possibilities, but the disgusting truth is that i could drink a carton straight with no spirits...and 75% of the time i pretty much do. um, it's like melted ice cream!

100 things to do in 2011: month in review

4 weeks left in the year? say it ain't so! i'm going to have to start crafting my next 100 things for next year pretty soon, but i managed to check a few more things off the list in november.

14. dine at 50 new restaurants: CONTINUED.

i'm almost there! the 'rents and i ate at a few new places on our mini-vacay to vero beach, including an adorable little place called lemon tree where i had the best sandwich of my life (grilled chicken, avocado, cheese, and bacon HELLO) and a lovely lunch spot in winter park. i'm up to 42...i think i can, i think i can!

32. try one new recipe a month: CONTINUED.

i got all fancy and made chicken oscar, and it turned out delicious! gourmet, y'all.

88. write a fan letter and get a response: STARTED.

i wrote to steve-o, my favorite of the jackass crew, via email. i have it on good authority that he apparently is great about sending personalized autographs. hopefully i won't have to wait until the new year to see if it's true!

93. donate money to charity: COMPLETED.

i gave some money to a charity that provides thanksgiving dinner for the needy. felt good!

95. see a sunrise and sunset in the same day: COMPLETED.

i got up early enough one day in vero to see the sun rise over the ocean, and fortunately got an oceanview table at dinner that night to see it set! boom.

a very macy's thanksgiving

when i tell people that i love the macy's thanksgiving day parade, they usually say, "oh, me too!" not realizing that my love is more than a passing interest. my affection for the parade is much deeper than say, when people go "i love puppies!" it's so deep that missing it on one thanksgiving about 5 years ago ruined the whole day for me, and now goes down in history as the "worst thanksgiving ever". don't mess with me and my parade, man.

11 years ago, i had the privilege of seeing the spectacle up close and personal with my family. i also had the misfortune of being the coldest i've ever been in my damn life. no joke, i swear that with the windchill, and gusts blowing through the high-rises, it must have been about -20 degrees outside. so, i naturally wrapped my wool scarf around my head like a little babushka while my mom sought shelter in the nearby mcdonald's, which was serving lukewarm chocolate because they couldn't heat it fast enough. however, my 14 year-old self was more than happy to risk hypothermia to catch a glimpse of bbmak, lfo, and aaron carter, waving on a silly float and lip-synching to their pre-recorded hits. i couldn't wind my disposable camera fast enough! i swear to god rich cronin made eye contact with me, y'all. probably because i was the only freak with a scarf around her head.

anyways, we had thanksgiving dinner that year at this gourmet restaurant, scaletta, which was absolutely horrible. i mean, sure, the meal was probably amazing by foodie standards. but the stuffing had damn raisins and apples in it. i don't care what you say, fruit does NOT belong in any stuffing of mine. i picked at it and pouted...probably thinking "if only bbmak were here". the parade was so worth it, but you'll never find me eating fruity stuffing at a restaurant on turkey day again.

heavy metal and mullets: a white trash driving mix

hi guys! i basically made this mix because i wanted an excuse to include songs about crack and cowboys without it being totally weird. this mix is a little on the long side, but trust that it is totally perfect for any less-than-classy excursions. listen HERE!

1. sum 41 - fat lip

2. mickey avalon - jane fonda

3. queens of the stone age - little sister

4. pujol - mayday

5. boomkat - the wreckoning

6. american bang - whiskey walk

7. kid rock - cowboy

8. injected - sherman

9. eagles of death metal - english girl

10. bona roba - in the cut

11. jay reatard - it ain't gonna save me

12. buckcherry - lit up

13. zz top - tush

14. p.o.d. - boom

15. rock 'n roll soldiers - funny little feeling

16. kings of leon - red morning light

17. the cadillac black - i'm southern

18. avenged sevenfold - bat country

place i love: winter park, florida

since moving to orlando, to say i've experienced culture shock is a pretty big understatement. but each day, i get more and more comfortable here as i encounter new things, people, and experiences that make me appreciate my new surroundings in different ways.

this past week, my parents came to visit, and i got the opportunity to check out some places that i hadn't previously gotten to explore in the area. we spent a few days in the beachside community of vero beach (which, i swear to god, was the inspiration for seinfeld's "del boca vista", but nice nonetheless) and wandered around orlando's leu gardens, which was a beautiful retreat in the middle of the city.

but the place that really, really got me was winter park, a city just north of orlando that's been called "new england in florida". as soon as i stepped out of the car and onto the brick, tree-lined streets of the city's famed park avenue, i fell in love and felt extremely comforted - really, the first time i've felt "home" since i've moved here. it reminded me so much of the main streets in the boston area - and it felt almost like a quainter newbury street in boston. it probably only added to the charm that it was a brisk 60 degrees that day in orlando - a rarity for fall here - so i relished the chance to stroll in my scarf, sweater and boots. my parents and i snagged a streetside table at a casual eatery, 310 park south, and enjoyed our sandwiches as we people (and dog)-watched. i wandered into the newly-opened barnie's coffee kitchen after lunch for a chai latte, and decided promptly that i must live here someday. nevermind the 600k-multi-million dollar price tags on most of the area homes. it's happening, y'all!

site i love: pinterest

i know that many of you are already on the pinterest bandwagon, but if you aren't...GET WITH IT! pinterest is an internet junkie and/or incessant daydreamer's dream come true (i happen to be both). the idea is that you can make your own personal bulletin boards from images you either search for on the pinterest site, or anywhere on the web. i had actually already been doing these "vision boards" in powerpoint, mainly just because they put me in a good mood. images of my dream home, people i want to meet, things i want to do...pinterest makes it much easier to quickly add things to my boards and share fun images with friends. for example, you can check out my "happy stuff" board.

the site says you need an invite, but i signed up and received one the next day, no problem. happy pinning!

100 things to do in 2011: month in review.

happy almost-halloween! it's been a busy and fun month...i can't believe i have less than six weeks left in my first semester of grad school (cue freakout). looking at what i have left, i'm notttt sure i'm going to tackle everything on my list by the end of the year (unless i somehow can somehow meet, party and sing karaoke with andrew jenks in chicago in a limo...or something. but never say never, right?

13. see 50 new movies: CONTINUED.

saw the surprisingly cute "what's your number" (which was set in my old 'hood, the north end of boston. who knew!) and "under the tuscan sun" which, though i haven't seen "eat pray love", i'm guessing was much better.

14. dine at 50 new restaurants: CONTINUED.

went crazy at an all-you-can-eat salad bar chain called sweet tomatoes (it was okay, but i needed more meat and potatoes, tbh), a sit-down deli (toojay's) and a downtown restaurant/bar last night for the beginning of my halloween night (ember). i'm at 37, so i totally can do this.

25. try 5 new foods: COMPLETED.

leave it to me to go to an oktoberfest and have conch fritters, but whatever. they were yummy!

32. try one new recipe a month: CONTINUED.

okay, so i'm not the most innovative chef...i did "garlicky angel hair with shrimp" because i'm obsessed with shrimp. still!

58. read one book per month: CONTINUED.

christine hassler's "20-something manifesto" was pretty reaffirming and interesting. just started starbucks' chairman and CEO's book "pour your heart into it" which is great so far too.

73. assume a fake identity for one night: COMPLETED.

okay, i'm counting halloween for this because 1) i never dress slutty, even on halloween and 2) i was a slutty girl scout for halloween. it was definitely a step out of my comfort zone to wear a crop top and mini-skirt (with tights underneath!) throughout downtown orlando, but it was also kinda liberating and awesome. some girl at a bar was like "hey, look, there's a slutty girl scout!" and i was all...LOL.

78. take up a new hobby: STARTED.

on a rainy sunday morning, i decided to pop over to the yoga studio across the street and take a "stress relief yoga" class. it was actually really relaxing and nice, even for someone as high-strung as me. not sure if it'll become a full-fledged hobby, but i'd definitely go again!

87. organize my itunes: COMPLETED.

over a period of like 3 weeks, i slowly but surely categorized all of the rogue tunes in my library of 6,469 songs by genre and album. so glad it's over.

on a sidenote, i got to witness the coolest thing i've probably ever seen on a college campus, ever, on friday. for UCF's homecoming weekend, they do a huge pep rally called "spirit splash" where they let students run into the reflecting pond on the center of campus. not gonna lie, i kind of want to do it next year! i took some video from the madness:

hi, i'm kim, and i have a cupcake addiction.

pretty much all of my food-related posts are about cupcakes. deal with it.

i finally got around to stopping into a shop that's just around the corner from me: sweet! by good golly miss holly. and as much as it pains me to say it, these cupcakes trumped all of the places i tried on my cupcake crawl with emily back in january.

i went for a red velvet and a banana cupcake (pictured above...these things are HUGE) and they were ridiculous. moist, delicious, and perfect frosting consistency...i could pretty much eat them all day (except not because i felt so horrible about myself after 1). service was fast, the shop was breezy and cute, cupcakes came in adorable individual boxes, and they even offered froyo and mini cupcakes for days when you just want a little bit of cuppy goodness. i guess miss holly was a celeb chef in LA who decided to bring her talents here to o-town (and jacksonville) some years back. and for that, i am glad.

obsessed!

"you can't just visualize and then go eat a sandwich"

many of you know that i'm a big proponent of the law of attraction (more recently known as "the secret"). a lot of people scoff and snort at the idea, and i don't quite blame them if all they've seen is the hokey "secret" movie. but if you dig deeper, the truth is that it works! every time. and while it does seem pretty magical as i have brought certain things and achievements into my life, there's nothing all that kooky about it.

basically, the LOA states that "thoughts become things" and if you act like you already have what you want, you can manifest it. so if you've ever had one of those days where the crappy stuff just seems to snowball - or conversely, when all the good stuff starts coming at once, you've seen it at work. same goes for when you really, really want something and it seems to elude you - until the moment you forget about it! anyways, a ton of celebrities including will smith, lady gaga, and jim carrey (as you'll see below in the clip) have used it to help them achieve goals in their lives. i had heard this story before, but i was watching "oprah's lifeclass" because i'm old and was inspired by watching him tell it. give it a whirl!

when are you happiest?

a few weeks ago, it was a gorgeous sunny day here in orlando, and i was driving down the 408, singing along to cheap trick's "i want you to want me". i realized that it's in some of the most simple moments like this, belting to my favorite songs in my car, that i find the most happiness. so, i decided to think of some other times when i'm pretty much just loving life. share your "happy moments" in the comments, please!

- having a leisurely morning & enjoying that first (or fifth) cup of coffee

- getting together with a friend i haven't seen in forever and picking up right where we left off

- going to see a really great live band, dancing my ass off and soaking up the energy of the crowd

- enjoying an amazing meal and a glass of wine at a new restaurant

- seeing a cheesy rom-com that, despite knowing it's not real, gives me that giddy reassurance that i'll find "the one"

- staying in and baking something yummy on a rainy day

- a new crush

- having impromptu dance parties with my mom, cousins and aunts at family functions

- buying a top/dress that i'm crazy about and can't wait to wear the next day

- hearing/seeing something that reminds me of a really great memory or time in my life

- the anticipation of taking a vacation i've been planning for months

100 things to do in 2011: month in review.

september blew by, eh? i really need to kick it into gear if i want to have a crack at completing this list.

13. see 50 new movies: CONTINUED.

um, embarrassingly enough, the only movie i saw was "college road trip" with eddie murphy and raven-symone because it was on the disney channel one night...and it was AWFUL. and i love awful movies.

14. dine at 50 new restaurants: CONTINUED.

had fabulous pizza at the mellow mushroom and amazing mexican food near school at el cerro. woot!

25. try 5 new foods: CONTINUED.

i ate raw snapper, which i'm like 99% sure i've never had before. that brings me up to 4. what will be the fifth and final food to grace my taste buds?!

54. tailgate: COMPLETED.

went to the season opener at UCF, and boy, i didn't know tailgating until i saw it at the 2nd largest school in the country. absolute craziness. but it was fun!

58. read one book per month: CONTINUED.

i read a book in 3 days, "51/50" by kristen mcguiness, which is unheard of for me. the premise is that she takes fate into her own hands by dating 51 men in 50 days, which i loved. the book itself was kind of eh, but it was engaging enough.

79. watch an entire tv series on DVD: STARTED.

after my roomie and i watched the entire series of "my so-called life" on dvd a few years ago, i've once again ventured into the wild world of jordan catalano and tito and rayanne graff, and i'm loving it. also, i seem to discover new things each time i watch. this time i tragically realized that i kind of have a crush on brian krakow. ugggh.

also, i've gotta note that as of today, i crossed off a bucket/30 before 30 list item, "write an article for a national magazine". my first piece for the atlantic's life section was officially published today, which is basically a dream come true. i kind of put myself out there, as it was inspired by my still-kinda-raw moving experience, but hey...no pain, no gain, right? i think it turned out quite well and i'm proud of it. if you care to read, check it out here:

build a social circle from scratch: an unconventional how-to guide

stupid shirts that i actually almost bought.

is it bad that i still really like the first one?

where's andrae?

i've still never made it to NY for fashion week (someday, someday...) but thankfully ny mag has always got me covered with slideshows galore. overall this year? UNIMPRESSED. especially about my darling marc jacobs because i'm pretty sure he's lost his damn mind. anyways, here are some of my picks and pans. take a look and let me know which ones you're feelin'...or failin'.

LOOKS I LOVE:

(alice & olivia)

(betsey johnson)

(rachel zoe)

(vivienne tam)

LOOKS I LOATHE:

(marc jacobs)

(tory burch)

(donna karan)

(vivienne tam)

hard to hate and hard to love, that's right.

damn, i wish i was southern. i've been rocking this song for the last few weeks - these dudes are 3/4 of my fave deep-fried rock outfit american bang, and have been opening for zz top on their most recent tour. i can't seem to find anywhere to download or buy their stuff yet, so i just go to their website or watch this video on youtube like a weirdo. i think all of their songs also mention whiskey (a la the best AB song, "whiskey walk") so at least they keep it consistent. take a listen and tell me this ain't stuck in your head. it ain't my fault!

100 things to do in 2011: month in review.

it's seriously so messed up that it's almost september. but i'm comforted by the fact that for the first time in my life, the weather is only going to get better from here! though i might have foliage withdrawal. anyways, i actually made some progress towards my 100 things goal this month! i'm only at 23.5 total, but whatevs.

13. see 50 new movies: CONTINUED.

in my first week down here, i popped into a matinee of "crazy. stupid. love." by myself. ryan gosling makes everything better! i'm only at a pathetic total of 10 new movies, btw.

14. dine at 50 new restaurants: CONTINUED.

tried a sushi place near school tonight (kyoto) which was surprisingly good, stuffed my face with pulled pork, mac and cheese and fried pickles last weekend with some new friends at 4 rivers smokehouse in winter park (if any of y'all visit, remind me to take you there), and discovered a new favorite casual lunch spot in a place called crispers.

i'm at 31 new places...i'm totally going to hit 50 by december. right?!

32. try one new recipe a month: CONTINUED.

i've been turning into a domestic diva and it's even freaking me out. i made scallops with angel hair and pancetta a couple weeks ago, and i'm gettin' the fixins for chicken puttanesca tomorrow. who am i?

50. yelp about 10 places i've been: COMPLETED.

i've also been turning into a yelping freak lately, but it's fine. i love to eat so damn much that i don't know why it took me so long to get going with it. if you're on there, friend me!

58. read one book per month: CONTINUED.

finally got around to reading "talking to girls about duran duran" by my writing role model/pop culture guru rob sheffield. great summer read!

59. make my bedroom a cozy sanctuary: COMPLETED.

i guess i had to move to do it, but i feel completely cozy and relaxed in my new room (and place, for that matter). i think it's the all-over carpeting.

69. nurture a plant: COMPLETED.

bought a little palm plant for my patio (read: needs as little nurturing as possible) but i've been watering it occasionally, dammit.

77. eat breakfast daily: COMPLETED.

after not eating breakfast for probably close to 3 years, i vowed to myself i'd turn over a new leaf. thanks to my new weird grad school schedule, i've been uber-successful! i just went through a banana nut crunch phase and i'm kind of over it, though. suggestions?

"is this yours?"

i'm ironically totally removed from the hurricane here in FL (too weird), but all i could think of when i heard the name irene was the chick from real world seattle. fortunately, best week ever is also as cray-cray as me. hunker down and enjoy this slice of reality tv history.

childhood dance routines we'd rather forget.

Following a spirited Twitter conversation last week with Children of the '90s , stand-up comedian/fellow '90s enthusiast/generally funny guy Andy Shaw and I decided to team up for a blog post on bad childhood dance recitals. We know this is a topic that hits close to home for many of you, especially those born and bred during the '80s and '90s. Share your traumatic experiences with us, please. In the meantime, you can follow Andy's musings on Twitter here. Enjoy....and remember, YOU'VE GOT THE POWER!

Kim: Sequined headbands. Hip-hop songs blaring out of a static-laden sound system. Animal-printed, neon lycra. Six year-olds wearing red lipstick. Fathers hoisting camcorders bigger than their heads. While I may have just coincidentally described an episode of “Toddlers and Tiaras”, these things were also part and parcel of a dance recital in the ‘90s. Sure, it all seemed normal at the time, but so did a song by a dude with a mullet called “Achy Breaky Heart”. Why did we – nay, why did our parents – stand for such madness?!

Andy: … Oh, sorry, I was momentarily in a stupor thinking about a child with all of that stuff on. It boggles the mind. Here’s the thing, Kim. We are all guilty of having an embarrassing dance goblin in our childhood closet. We can blame our parents, sure, but they were just doing what everybody else was doing - if we were born 70 years earlier, we’d all have been drowning on the Titanic. But we’re 80s kids, so they sequined and neoned us to within an inch of our godforsaken but totally tubular lives. So it’s no

t a matter of why, I suppose, but how bad?

Kim: Excellent point, Andy. I’ll admit that things got pretty dark, and it wasn’t only because the stage lighting was on the fritz. I hate to harp on the costumes, but I distinctly remember a year when my mother rounded up all of the other moms to sew up an ill-placed, suggestive hole in the center of our tops. You’d think that the designers of children’s apparel would have considered this prior to peddling such slutwear! And then there was the music. It might have had something to do with the particular taste of my gum-snapping, 20-something teachers, but I ended up shakin’ my groove thang to some tunes that were either totally lame, completely inappropriate, or both.

Andy: “Peddling such slutwear” is a phrase to be remembered. I wonder if the dance instructors got a private kick out of the irony of making little kids dance to all that stuff, unaware of what the words mean. Ah, childhood. I can’t wait to make my kid dance to a Katy Perry song.

And now, the evidence...

Kriss Kross: “Jump” (Kim)

In short....wiggity-wiggity-wiggity-WACK. This routine was one of those perfect storms of a one-hit wonder, a low-budget after school program, and a composite of stretchy, black-and-fuschia fabric left over from real dance studios.

Performed at Long Branch Elementary School in Liverpool, New York at the end of my first grade year, we were deluded into thinking that merely enacting the song’s title – repeatedly – and switching lines during the “breakdown” formed a dance routine. But at least we weren’t wearing backwards overalls. Faces are blurred to protect the guilty.

Paul Revere & The Raiders: Indian Reservation (Cherokee People) (Andy)

What’s that? This song is offensive, patronizing, wildly inappropriate, and tries to capitalize on the sorrows of a people nearly wiped off the face of the earth?

You’d be wrong. This song is all of those things, plus a dance number for a group of children! Readers who have checked out my older blog have seen this photo before, but for those who haven’t, well, you’re welcome. It’s not every day you see a little boy in a pink Indian costume excited to dance to an 80’s rock anthem about Native Americans who are “so proud to die.”

That’s right. “So proud to live/So proud to die” the lyrics state, likely something the settlers shouted right before burning villages. Ah, western civilization. The fact the band is “Paul Revere and the Raiders” creates so many jokes, I don’t know where to start.

Janet Jackson: If (Kim)

In case you’ve forgotten about this little gem, here are some choice lyrics:

How many nights I've laid in bed excited over you

I've closed my eyes and thought of us,

A hundred different ways

I've gotten there so many times

I wonder how 'bout you

If I was your girl...

Oh the things I'll do to you

I'd make you call out my name

I'd ask who it belongs to

Clearly, clearly G-rated material that was suitable for seven year-olds to be gyrating and thrusting to. Thank the lord that the lyrics were too breathy and fast for any parents to catch on. Hell, even after dancing to it 50 + times, I don’t think WE caught on. This was also the costume that had the boob-hole. Just family-friendly stuff all around, folks! It’s a miracle we all turned out halfway normal (there was that ONE girl, though...I don’t think she ever fully recovered).

God: Jesus Loves the Little Children (Andy)

Perhaps overlooked in the anthology of childhood dance numbers, we’ve got Bible Camp music. I’ve been to more than my fair share of Bible Camps, so I got get Michael to Row the Boat Ashore, or B-I-B-L-E with the best of them.

Here’s the thing about Bible Camp songs: They all, and I mean ALL, have a series of hand motions with them. No reason, really, other than overly eager parents thinking the message of Jesus can’t be full appreciated without two sets of fingers curled together to signify a heart.

“Jesus Loves the Little Children” is a strange song to teach kids. First off, you’re telling them to identify people by their skin tone - “Look mom, it’s a red one! Like in Cherokee People!” Second off, the underlying premise here is that Jesus loves more than just the other middle class white kids. “Look how culturally sensitive our children are!” On a related reminder note, I went to a lot of Bible Camps.

Sidenote: That video is ultra creepy.

Rob Base & DJ E Z Rock: It Takes Two (Kim)

I really should have learned by this point, age 14, to stop indulging in these ridiculous routines. But the truth was, I did love to dance, and if the price was enduring a painful 3-minute dance for a year of fun combinations and warm-ups, I’d gladly pay it. I’ll never forget my teacher for this one, a nasally club chick who probably hung out at 18+ nights at “Ozone” just over the border in Massachusetts.

There was a lot of booty-shaking, booty-popping, and generally a lot of movements that made me uncomfortable because my trunk had (and still has) absolutely no junk. Our costumes, a crop-top and pants in a shocking neon green, could have triggered epileptic seizures. In this case, two were definitely not enough to make this routine go right.

We know you guys have similar stories (and perhaps even pictures!), so spill them in the comments. May the scarring memories live on!

beef + food trucks = awesome.

since i haven't started school quite yet, i've been in this weird limbo of trying to explore orlando and sitting by the pool and drinking a glass of riesling on my balcony e'rry night, which has been kind of odd because i feel like one of the retirees that everyone up north thinks i'm surrounded by down here (couldn't be falser, btdubs). but anyways, i've uncovered a couple food-related gems here in the past week...come on, don't even act like you're surprised. so, without further ado:

beefy king

desperate to find a replacement for my beloved beef slingers up north (that sounded dirtier than intended), i took a little spin over to the place that locals here in orlando have adored since the 70s. despite the creepy clown decor inside, i kept meat on my mind as i approached the counter. the young man who took my order clearly knew that i was a newbie when i ordered my sandwich with sauce: "oh, there's barbecue sauce over there with the condiments." rookie mistake. nonetheless, a steamed beef sandwich with cheese, pickles, and onions appeared before me as if by magic, and it was quite delightful though not AMAZING. and in true friendly orlando fashion, a random old man came up to ask me if i played keyboard because i had a keyboard on my shirt. i informed him that i did not, and he responded: "why you wearin' that, then?" touche', sir. anyways, i still have a hard time letting go of my old haunts, but i think i can definitely warm up to the BK.

the daily city food truck bazaar

i can get behind any city that holds large gatherings of food trucks. this one, up the road from me in oviedo, was dampened only slightly by the downpour that happened right as the event was starting (picture of the aftermath above)...however, it was still a great time. i was tempted by many trucks, including the one you see below. GATOR! but due to long lines and the fact that i immediately fell in love upon spotting the treehouse truck's "pbj" - a deep-fried peanut butter, banana, nutella and strawberry jam sandwich - it was all over.

quite honestly one of the best things i've ever consumed, and also one of the only things i've ever felt GUILTY about eating...now that's saying somethin'. now, after that little teaser, i'll give y'all what you really want: the foodporn. freaks.

no. words. except "praise tha lord that i worked out earlier."

100 things to do in 2011: month in review (and some other stuff).

oh my godddd how is it august? it's hard to believe that i'm sitting in my new living room in orlando right now, looking at a damn palm tree outside my window. the past 4 days have been hectic and weird, but i'm finally starting to feel a bit more at home now that i have actual furniture (thanks, rooms to go!). i think i'm gonna love it here once i befriend more than the 3 ducks that hang around the pond at my apartment complex 24/7...and yes, i named them isaac, taylor, and zac just because it makes me chuckle. still, i'm having a bit of culture shock.

some things i've noticed about orlando so far:

• everyone is SUPER nice. like, i'm-not-used-to-it-and-it's-almost-creepy nice. literally every individual i have encountered has been overly talkative and helpful. and i mean, a random dude came up to me in bed bath and beyond the other day and asked for help finding his mom a birthday gift. the new englander in me said "run away!" but i knew that i had to embrace this newfound approach. "does she bake?" i shrugged as i pointed at a cake pan. meh!
• i have no allergies here. i seriously would wake up in new england and run for the box of tissues every morning, and i haven't picked up one since i got down here. SCORE!
• the heat is fiiiiine. i've been hanging out on my balcony every night and it's totally effing pleasant. my conclusion? people just love to complain about everything so they exaggerate about everything. or i guess i'm just a sun child, man.
• everything is spread out. i haven't even ventured out of my little corner of the city yet and i'm already a little overwhelmed. but more to explore, i guess!
• i wish i could bring my friends and family down here with me. i miss my buddies a ton already, so they better visit.

anyways, i was pretty much totally consumed with moving this month, but i managed to add two more movies to my list ("no strings attached" which was surprisingly cute and "the back-up plan" which was predictably stupid...but alex o'loughlin oh my oh my). i also had a whirlwind week of goodbye dinners in boston which included sushi at yoki, yummy pizza at pisa pizza, and chicken parm at a townie place in malden. i also discovered a gem of a chain restaurant in pooler, georgia called FATZ en route to orlando, where the manager sat down to chat and was super-nice. i ate some fish called basa which was badass.