the top 5 best things about weddings

i've blogged about weddings before since i've attended at least 11 or 12 in my 26 years, and it's no secret that i'm a huge fan. honestly, i could probably go to a wedding every weekend and be happy as a clam (and as i mentioned before, after being a bridesmaid for one of my good friends this past weekend - total blast! - i will be embarking on my second wedding weekend and seeing my cousin get hitched this saturday). apparently, many people don't share my love for nuptials, but WHATEVER. here are some of my favorite things about i-do-days.

1. looking hot

come on, y'all. how often do you get to wear that little black cocktail dress, wear those stripper heels you can barely walk in (only to abandon them on the dance floor) and use your MAC makeup/look all dapper in that tux or suit? it's basically your chance to go all great gatsby for the night. you can't NOT love that.

2. OPEN BAR!

white russian? whiskey sour? these were the only things bouncing around my brain as i entered the reception on saturday. wheeee!

3. cute strangers!

everyone loves them. and you can be whoever you want to be! *wink*

4. dancing with cute strangers and/or cute babies and/or cute old people

unless you're at a super-lame wedding, everyone is hitting that dance floor HARD. shout-ing, love shack-ing, dougie-ing, just doing their thing and having fun. sweaty hair, don't care. and if you think about it, wedding receptions are really the only acceptable place to do the cupid shuffle with uncle marty or grind with your friend's boyfriend. ...right?

5. yummy gourmet food

hors d'oeuvres are probably not part of your daily life, so hoard the shit out of those stuffed mushrooms and mini beef wellingtons. but make sure you save room for the stuffed chicken breast or filet mignon or omg i'm hungry (if you ordered the vegetarian dish, GTFO).

the last supper.

Of the many life lessons I’ve learned, perhaps the most important is to never eat at a sit-down chain restaurant that bears someone’s namesake. Roy Rogers, Bob Evans, P.F. Chang’s...do you see where I’m going with this? At 21 years old, I thought I knew it all. Oh, I firmly believed that a family visit to a casual eatery in Georgia, known as Carey Hilliard’s, could only result in fun times, fine food and great memories. Then again, I also thought that full bangs were a good look. I had just graduated from college, and my parents decided to take me down to Hilton Head, South Carolina and Savannah, Georgia for a celebratory vacation. What better way to celebrate than with some down-home southern cookin’? As it turned out, there were, many, many better ways. One of which was probably swimming with gators in the crick.

Upon entering the dimly-lit Denny’s/Golden Corral hybrid, I knew I had made a grave mistake. Yet, my pride just wouldn’t let me turn back. The gum-snapping, bleary-eyed hostess, who looked like she just finished up a shoot as an extra in Zombieland, showed us to our booth without a word. The ‘rents and I slid carefully onto the weathered—and mysteriously sticky— upholstery. We all took a terrified look around, noting that a landscape of white hair blanketed the entire restaurant, along with the distinct scent of mothballs. It was early, but not THAT early, for the snowbirds to be here in such high concentrations. Was the food here so terrible that it was only palatable by those whose taste buds were long gone? We found out, in short order, that the answer to that question was a resounding “yes”. Surveying the menu, which featured unintentionally vintage-looking glamour shots of clam strip baskets and such vague offerings as a “pound of barbecue”, only further confirmed what we all already knew: we were screwed. But it was too late now. “Hi there, folks,” a waitress that resembled a significantly less vibrant Rue McClanahan approached. “Can I get y’all started with a drink?”

"What do you have for wine?” my mother asked, though she instinctively knew the answer.

"Well, we, uh, have a house white...and rosé,” Rue replied as visions of Franzia and flashbacks of freshman year danced in my head.

Too frightened to ask any more questions, we all placed our orders, heads down, mentally preparing for the taste of the south in our mouths. I made inadvertent eye contact with an elderly gentleman in a nearby booth. He smiled at me, though I wasn’t sure if the smile said, This place is great! What a delicious chicken finger basket! or I have absolutely no idea what the hell is going on! I smiled back. We were all in this together.

The food arrived, looking just as it had in the menu! In most cases, this is a good thing. In this case, it meant that it had probably been baking under heat lamps since yesterday’s early bird special. My father attempted a spoonful of his chowder. An unmistakable crunching sound, that could likely be heard all the way to Tybee Island, followed. “Jesus, John! What was that?” my mother crowed, jerking her head up from the cole slaw she’d been sniffing with a curious expression. “Nothing (crunch), it’s fine (crunch),” my dad responded, blatantly ignoring the destruction of his molars that was taking place in real time. “Are there...bones in there? If there are bones in there, send it back.” I picked up my glass of cloudy sweet tea to start my own drinking game. “You’re not going to pay for bones, are you?” she continued, sipping the generic white wine in between disgusted bites of her pulled pork sandwich.

Oh yes, the pulled pork! Amidst all of the crunchy chaos, I had forgotten all about my sandwich. I lifted up one of the miniature, soggy slices of Wonder Bread that sat in the center of my plate and peeked underneath, unsure if there was actually any meat in hiding. I was faced with two thin strips of barbecued pig, which were ominously arranged in the shape of a cross. I considered asking Jesus to take the wheel. Then, after some contemplation, I decided that I just wanted him to take the pork away. Far, far away.

“Can I take this away?”

My prayers were answered by the not-quite-Golden Girl, who didn’t bat an eyelash at my untouched dinner plate, nor my family’s pained expressions. And then, as we sat waiting for the check, something strange happened: we all began to laugh. A few chuckles grew into that silent, uncontrollable kind of laughter, where all you can hear are the quick, hiccup-y intakes of breath. We’re still not sure if it was the wine, or the bony chowder, or if someone spiked the sweet tea, or if it was just the realization that we just had the worst dining experience of all of our lives. Whatever it was, our waitress didn’t seem to share in our punchy delight—giving us the side-eye as she returned my father’s card. Blanche Devereaux would never!

We headed for the sweet glow of freedom and the setting Georgia sun—as well as the door—still giggling.“Y’all come back now,” the hostess droned with a detectable tinge of sarcasm, as I snagged a takeout menu for posterity. One of Savannah’s best-kept, tasty secrets, it boasted.

I’ll never tell.

100 things to do in 2012: month in review

oh, may, you crazy! it was a month to remember, for sure. while i didn't make it to nashville (planning a better trip for another time) i spent the last two weeks running around europe with 19 brand new friends and having a blast. in the process, i checked a bunch of items off my list, so most of this post will be devoted to my eurotrip!

1. go to europe: COMPLETED. 

spain, france, and italy FTW! i had the time of my life. you can check out all of the pictures here, but below are the highlights:

madrid:
-tinto de verano! (red wine and lemonade...TOGETHER)
-a waiter at one of the restaurants asking "why don't you speak spanish?" after we struggled to order lunch
-eating paella for the first time, which was incredible, followed by a cranberry cake/tart, one of the best desserts i've ever had in my entire life
-dancing to "rack city" in kapital, a 7-floor club, and being surrounded by foreign creepers on the spanish floor
-going to a bullfight, which was actually a little depressing
-eating tapas and drinking sangria in a dungeon
-CHOCOLATE CON CHURROS!

barcelona:
-freaking out because the back door in our hotel room fell open from the top and we thought it was broken/someone was trying to break in, only to discover that the door was also a window. clearly.
-our tour director reading us a picture book on the steps of the cathedral
-falling in love with gaudi's architecture at park guell and around the city...beautiful!
-having a great lunch at cuines santa caterina (mediterranean country rice with chicken, mushrooms and sausage)
-getting lost down adorable side streets
-touring a cava winery about an hour outside of the city
-biscotti and nutella gelato!

french riviera/nice:
-staying in a 4-star countryside retreat in the middle of nowhere, which was incredible
-enjoying wine and cheese the first night and just hanging out with the rest of my group
-spending an entire day in nice: dipping my toes in the mediterranean, shopping at the open-air market, chowing down on a pan bagnat and amaretto and bailey's gelato, hiking up to castle hill and the waterfall
-going to wayne's bar, where i enjoyed a lynchburg lemonade and a cheeseburger. love.

pisa:
-doing my part to correct the leaning tower
-senegalese street vendors who came over to us saying "bling bling lady gaga" over and over again

florence:
-going to the "jersey shore" club, space electronic, dougie-ing on the stage there and being applauded by random italians
-sitting on some steps, eating amazing "real" pizza (don't get me wrong, i still love me some pizza hut, but it was legit)
-eating gelato twice in one day
-wine tasting and tour in tuscany, where we all took pictures with our hot italian bus driver emanuele (who wore suits every day and had "bus driver swag")
-visiting the nearby walled city of san gimignano
-going on a walking tour of the city at night

rome:
-being surprised on our bus ride from assisi to rome with a cannoli topped with birthday candles - best birthday ever!
-night walking tour of rome...i may have teared up at the pantheon
-making a wish at the trevi fountain
-great birthday dinner of pasta cacio e pepe and pinot grigio
-our hotel being "at the corner of prostitution square and hooker lane"and seeing actual services being, um, rendered (lowlight?)
-seeing the coliseum
-getting free dessert wine at lunch
-making friends with this crazy old man who owns a gelato place and taking a sip of his strawberry frappe
-wandering down a street towards the sound of club music and seeing usain bolt, the fastest man in the world, DJing
-going on a pub crawl and getting water dumped on my head by angry residents in the apartment above the bar


favorite city: 

hands down: nice, france. i wasn't expecting to get so attached as we spent the least amount of time here, but it was out of a storybook, f'real. between the little shops, the flower & fruit market, the amazing blue water and the views from the top of castle hill, i was instantly in love. i can't wait to go back!

favorite meal:

this one was close, because the spanish paella was amazing, but i have to give it to the ravioli boscaiola at la grotta di leo in florence, italy. the pasta was in a red creamy sauce with mushrooms, olives and tomato and i'm kind of still dreaming about it.

favorite purchase:

this sailboat-print dress that i got in france. i'm usually not one for shopping when i'm on vacay, but i'd be in trouble if i lived in europe. SO MUCH CUTE STUFF!



ALSO accomplished/continued:

21. visit the location of a TV/movie scene:  there were a ton (park guell as seen in vicky cristina barcelona and as i've just learned from my friend amy, america's top model), space electronic night club in florence, where the jersey shore cast went, and probably a ton in rome, but my favorite might be st. peter's square in vatican city - as seen in EUROTRIP!


29. watch 26 new movies, one for each letter of the alphabet: saw extremely loud and incredibly close (terrible) and vicky cristina barcelona on the way to...barcelona! 15 to go.

36. make a wish at the trevi fountain: and i got to do it on my birthday!

47. dance in the street: i did this a few times, most memorably in florence as we walked by someone's wedding reception that was in full swing on the river below.


66. participate in a sing-along: my tour group and i belted out "somebody that i used to know," "we are young," and "call me maybe" on our bus ride back to our hotel in france one night. loved it.

94. go without TV and internet for 24 hours: i think my wi-fi addiction was too severe, but the only TV i watched during my trip was a few minutes of jersey shore in spanish and then NCIS in france once we figured out how to change the language to english. :)

top 5 potential summer jam THROWDOWN

ah, the summer jam. there's one every year, and some years are better than others (for example, last year? "party rock anthem" was pretty much the only contender, while 2010 was filled with "club bangers" like usher's "o.m.g." & "dj got us falling in love", katy perry's "california gurls", enrique iglesias' "i like it", etc. etc.). summer is fast approaching, and WE NEED TO FIGURE OUT OUR SUMMER JAM, GUYS! the clock is ticking. here are my top picks. what do y'all think?

1. stefano f/ new boys and rock mafia - "i'm on a roll"



okay, so i was totally acting too cool when mr. langone returned to his idol stomping grounds last week to perform this tune and was all like, "HAHA STEFANO, LAAAME". but then the hook dug its way into my head. and then i looked up the song on youtube. and then i became obsessed. damn you, stefano! this tune has what i consider to be all the essential elements of a summer jam: 1. catchy as haaaale 2. danceable 3. lyrics with no real purpose except to make people want to love life and sing in the car and fist pump 4. a rap interlude. this one could go. all. the. waaayyyyy!

2. karmin - "brokenhearted"



karmin is pretty polarizing, though i can't quite tell how i feel about them. the face-pulling and semi-annoying rapping of the lead singer bothers me pretty badly, but i have to admit that they have some pop song skillz. this one is aiight, but i think it lacks a bit of the punch necessary to be a true summer jam.

3. flo rida - "whistle"



i'm no prude, but "can you blow my whistle, baby?" COME ON, FLO. leave a little mystery, for god sakes! i feel like this one is a little too risque to have mass summer jam appeal, but the whistling is kind of fun. i was considering including "wild ones" on this list, but i feel like it's already too played out (along with "call me maybe" and "boyfriend"). it's all about timing!

4. wiz khalifa - "no sleep"



liking the vibe of this. it's perfect for having some cocktails at a barbeque or lounging on the beach, half-hungover. i think it's a bit too sleepy to take the crown, though.

5. b.o.b. - "so good"



this has been out for a while, but i don't think it's approached the point of oversaturation and it's got good potential for this summer, talking about beaches in mexico and living the good life and all that jazz. the singalong chorus is totally made for driving with the top down and taking it easy.

100 things to do in 2012: month in review.

welp, i just finished the last grad class of the semester, and i'm SO HAPPY. it's strange to think that my "summer" is starting already, but also kind of awesome. i've secured a wonderful, flexible freelance gig that will allow me to work from anywhere. which is great, since i am leaving to complete #14 (visit nashville) on sunday, and #1 (visit europe) on the 17th before heading home to new england to be a bridesmaid for the first time at one of my best friend's weddings, and theeeeen attend my cousin's wedding. busy, busy, dizzy! but i have a great feeling about this summer and am happily anticipating the great things it will bring! :)

2. make my own ice cream: COMPLETED.

i was bored a few weeks ago, and craving a sweet treat, but didn't have anything in the house. except half and half, salt, ice, sugar, and vanilla, that is. so i decided to make myself a little ziploc bag full of ice creamy goodness. i did something wrong because i shook that dang bag for a half hour without really anything happening. so i stuck it in the freezer and voila! yummy ice cream after like...45 minutes.

10. make $2,000 in freelance: CONTINUED.

i'll likely hit my goal in just under two weeks. woot!

29. watch 26 new movies, one for every letter of the alphabet: CONTINUED.

this month, i saw jeff who lives at home, which was honestly one of the best movies i've seen in a long time (mainly because i'm pretty much jeff). i also watched dear john on TV the other night, which was much less sad than i had anticipated. i love me some channing tatum.

46. make a painting: COMPLETED.

courtesy of a livingsocial deal, some great gals and i headed over to this genius place just north of orlando in altamonte springs called creative canvas and wine. basically, you pay one price for all the supplies you need to make a guided painting (sup, bob ross?) and you get to drink wine while you do it. SO GOOD! besides the "leaves" that look like hellfire in my painting (on the left), we made some pretty damn van gogh-esque sunflowers, wouldn't you say?

69. hang out with a band after a show: CLOSE ENOUGH?

well, it was just one member of a band (see below), and it was before the show, not after. but we had dinner and played apples to apples and stuff! i'm pretty sure i can count it.

77. find one new song a week that i love: COMPLETED.


i discovered so much good new music this month. namely, bass drum of death, who i wrote about a few weeks ago. you can check most of it out on this "mayan summer" playlist i lovingly put together on spotify. dig it!


78. go to a local punk show: COMPLETED.

semantics. it was more southern rock than punk, but i accompanied my friend to a show on easter/passover weekend which was appropriately but randomly held at a church. i praised the gods of rock 'n roll! and saw an entertaining local band, buffalo gun. oh, and the following weekend i saw some more punk-esque local bands at the hunx and his punx show.

top 5 names for taylor hanson's duggar-style reality show.

if you haven't heard the news, mr. hanson announced today that he and wife natalie are expecting baby #5. they're not even 30, so first of all, IS THIS REAL LIFE? second of all, i don't really blame his wife at all. get it, girl! i think you had the man locked down after #1, but you do you.

anyways, you just know that a reality show is on the way to document taylor's spawn...so i thought i'd help out the networks with some ideas for names. feel free to contribute your own!

1. mmmbrood

2. taydate

3. taylor-made

4. cinco de tay-o (okay, that's a stretch)

5. taylor, the creator

natural child/hunx & his punx at will's pub

i'm so stoked that i've finally rediscovered my formerly show-loving self in the past few weeks. there's nothing like seeing great live music whilst drinking cheap beer in a dingy dive bar. despite my now slightly more buttoned-up appearance, it's still one of the environments where i'm legitimately the happiest.

the will's pub show last night began with two local bands, tamtam the sandwich man and the magical sugar cookies (yes, really)-who entertained us with songs about hating your job as a pizza hut delivery driver- and girls on the beach, whose bespectacled and totally nerdy looks were the complete opposite of their loud, 60's-esque surfer rock, which they performed with cigarettes dangling out of their mouths. it was a sight to see.

most importantly, i had the fortune of seeing my favorite stones-y stoners, natural child, who completely won me over at last year's SXSW after my friend gleni and i sort of accidentally wandered into their set. they're completely hilarious (see interview below), "fascinating-looking" (to quote my friend who attended the show with me last night) and most importantly...really, really, REALLY good live (again, see below). somehow, all of their songs sound like that old classic that you love but can't put your finger on, yet are totally original and awesome at the same time. the dudes behind us pretty much summed up my feelings about them after their set: "i just wanna party with those guys." amen, brother.

and THEN! hunx and his punx played.

i'd be lying if i said i didn't buy my ticket for natty child, but i was familiar with some of hunx's bubblegum/garage-y pop tunes, and intrigued by the promise of ridiculousness after seeing some of his videos. my oh my, i did not realized that the man and his band had such a rowdy cult following. everything started out innocently enough, with people bopping along and acting normal. but suddenly, my friend and i were smooshed to the side as a full-on mosh pit broke out, people started crowd-surfing, cigarette smoke and fog filled the air, and general insanity ensued. after some chick stepped on my friend's bare toes for the 3rd time, we had to get out of there. but, as with most things, it was good while it lasted!

band i love: bass drum of death

i'm in the midst of a serious, intense love affair with a band called bass drum of death, and i'm not sure why these guys have been flying under my radar for so long. like, basically, from now on i'm just going to play the first video below when someone asks me what kind of music i like, because their entire album "gb city" pretty much embodies it. garage rock at its best: ridiculous riffs, perfect melodies, gritty, reverb-y vocals, sounds like it could have come from the 90s, recorded in a basement...yes yes yes yes.

oh, and i totally don't coincidentally think that the lead singer is a HPOSA (hot piece of stoner ass). that's crazy talk. but on the real...i must see them live at some point in the near future because it looks like they're pretty damn legit. VIDEO TIME!

100 things to do in 2012: month in review

march was a lil' slow, but no big. onwards!

10. make $2,000 in freelance: CONTINUED.

$905...almost halfway there!

29. watch 26 new movies, one for each letter of the alphabet: CONTINUED.

i actually saw 4 new movies this month, but only 1 counted towards my list: footloose. i know, i know. but it was better than i expected? also, just a word of warning: NEVER ever watch "me, you, and everyone we know". i apologize if you've seen it. literally the worst movie i've ever seen in my life.

46. make a painting: PLANNED.

thanks to a livingsocial deal, my friends and i are going to check out a nearby place called "creative canvas and wine" later this month, where you pay a flat fee for all of the supplies you need to make your own painting! plus, you can BYOW. i'm not sure how the painting will come out after a few glasses of riesling, but...

77. find one new song that i like each week: COMPLETED.

besides "call me maybe" and the new bieber tune which i regrettably LOVE, i found some other new faves.

dig 'em!

the black keys - gold on the ceiling

walk the moon - tightrope

natural child - hey little girl

tacocat - spring break-up

81. eat chicken and waffles: COMPLETED.

so, i attempted to check out the downtown food & wine fest here in orlando yesterday. of course, the minute i got there, the sky opened up and i had to run for cover under a bank awning. BUT! i was there, dammit, so i was going to eat. so i ate pork tacos, gumbo, and-woohoo!-chicken and waffles. they were delicious, and the perfect warm comfort food for my drenched, momentarily-grumpy self. check!

tv shows that no one remembers (except me).

i swear that all of the following shows are IMDB legit. yet, every time i’ve ever tried to describe any of them to someone, they either change the subject or run away. rude! i proudly claim these weird, forgotten, and awesomely terrible blips in tv history.

1. today's special

the one with the creepy department store mannequin that came to life at night and hung out with the chick that worked there. i think it was canadian. the mannequin was actually kind of cute when he became human, as my 5 year-old self remembers. but, um, he was also a mannequin, so....

2. on our own

the one about the six orphaned siblings struggling to make it in the ‘hood. It was part of the TGIF lineup for like, two weeks, and starred real-life siblings whose names all began with “j”. and they played characters whose names all began with “j”, but were different than their real names. oh dear, i’m beginning to understand why this didn’t last very long.

3. second noah

the one in hawaii with all of the pets and all of the kids. oh, and james marsden. no, i don’t mean 7th heaven, but i think the dad might have also been played by stephen collins or someone that looked a lot like him. “noah” is a reference to the ark. get it?!

4. fred penner's place

the one with the guy that had the guitar and sat on rocks and sang children’s folk songs. sometimes animal puppets would even join him,i think. he also instructed us viewers how to deal if we got sprayed by a skunk in one episode. there may have been some serious hallucinogenic drug overtones going on, but guys, he was basically the original man vs. wild! give the man some credit.

it's hard to look right...at you baaaaaby!

just documenting one of the greatest pop songs i've ever heard in my entire life. this homemade music video even makes me like bieber, which is saying A LOT. i'm on day 2 of listening to it on repeat, running low on food and water...but i can't stop.

from the livejournal archives: on this day in 2006...

this past week has been all about nostalgia for me, man. i made a huge playlist of basically everything i listened to from 2000-2006, and called up the old livejournal the other day for some lolz. i'm pretty pleased with how thorough i was! so let's look at what happened on this day in 2006, shall we? it was kind of boring, i guess, but there are so many forgotten cultural touchstones that it's like a damn time capsule(failure to launch kind of...failed to launch, rock-a-way records is long gone, i did end up working at my dad's office that summer, i got into emerson, etc.). i'd love to hear some of your old LJ gems- that is, if you weren't too cool for one back in the day.

your mind ain't playin' tricks and neither am i

[19 Mar 2006|12:32pm]

[ mood | busy ] aaand spring break's over. school's such a drag! things i did of note this past week include going with jacob to this awesome little vinyl store in nashua, called rock-a-way records. as i put it, it was a "hidden gem in an otherwise uncultured city". reminded me of a store that would be in portsmouth or something and i loved it! i might just go back there sometime to snag a kinks or black sabbath record for decoration, unless i buy a record player. which i have been toying with, too. i'm reading an article about the guy who owns it and i guess he's only 23. keep going, man...you're rocking nashua's world! i also saw failure to launch and now am even more in love with matthew mcconaughey (i honestly have to google his name every time), and idolize zooey deschanel. aaand i rented must love dogs which was cute...i need my own john cusack!! and i rekindled my dunkin' donuts love. though i probably can never work there again, i'm truly surprised at how much MORE i go there now for coffee...i probably went almost every day during break. sad, but that's my caffeine addiction. speaking of which, i'm also trying to think once again of summer employment ideas. i was supposed to be working at my dad's office, making frickin' 15 bucks an hour or something, but they gave the job to the girl who got it last summer. AWESOME...looks like more food service/retail fun for me! so, i sent in the last form that was part of my emerson application a few days before spring break started. it's been a long time coming, but it feels good to have it finished. now i just have to wait, which isn't my forte. but, what will be will be, and i'm really just hoping it works out! i kind of want to go see adam green at the bowery ballroom in april. but i don't know if anyone else here appreciates his oddball/extremely vulgar lyrics (i.e "you know i wanna bone you!! i wanna put a hole in you!") and that's quite a tame example. listen to some of his songs, especially "no legs" for a raunchy laugh or two...i think he's hysterical. my room is freeeezing. and i need to unpack. spring is tomorrow, i think, and it better stop flurrying here so i can get excited about it.

the best of weird florida, part #1

i love taking pictures of weird things, and florida has provided me with no shortage of them. so, i thought it was about time to start a collection of the photos. heeeere we go! please add your own "weird" sightings in the comments!

turtle bay "liquor bar" (orlando)

"breeder's pick" puppies (orlando)

3 signs, 3 flags (orlando)

outdoor laundromat (vero beach)