Sunday, April 24, 2016

this isn't where i parked my car.



i can't believe it, but my 9-day eurotrip is officially over, and what a time it was. while it's nice to be back stateside, i was quite close to becoming a dutch citizen (more about that later). there's entirely too much to catch up on, but i categorized some superlatives to keep it relatively short and sweet. the moral of the story is basically that bartenders are your friends. learn to know and trust them!

more photos can be found over on flickr.

BEST FOOD:

sketch, london















this stylish spot in soho also wins for most incredible bathroom (check out the shameless selfie above). but after having drinks in their "parlor," we were whisked into the "gallery:" a pepto-pink dining room with david shrigley art adorning the walls. both gleni and i had the udon noodles, which were crazy delicious. like, i neeeever clean my plate, and i almost did this time! from the pop-up forks on the menu to the quirky flatware and the astronaut toilets, it's not hard to see why sketch is one of the most instagrammed restaurants in london.

the blues kitchen, london

real talk: gleni and i have been to some of the best bbq cities in the country. we're talking austin, nashville, and new orleans. however, we both agreed that this place had the most kick-ass southern cooking we've ever had. she had the burnt ends, i the gumbo, and we were both pleasantly surprised, since we stopped in here on a whim. bonus: they had an airstream trailer inside the restaurant that you could rent for parties 'n such. whoa!

un zèbre à montmartre, paris















on our final night in paris, we made our way to this small bistro on rue lepic, a main drag in the montmontre neighborhood. the menus were all handwritten on lil' chalkboards, and it was bustling on a saturday evening. as we housed pieces of french bread dripping with camembert and sipped our red wine, i said aloud "THIS is what i've been missing here." it just felt right, y'know? the tuna steak and some shared creme de caramel rounded out the meal. no frills to be found, but immensely satisfying.

cannibal royale, amsterdam

soooo, our dinner experience here didn't end well due to our own poor choices (just say no to space cakes, y'all), but i will tell you that we had phenomenal nachos and ribs just prior. observe said ribs:
















there was also fabulous, cozy ambiance that made us feel right at home.

COOLEST DRINKS:

callooh callay, london

 














it was like a more whimsical cheers! we made friends with a sweet bartender named chloe, who let us charge our phones behind the bar. she talked openly about recently ending a dry spell as a snarky friend provided running commentary, and then some stoned pals wandered in to offer some more comic relief. but most importantly, my drink had a light-up ice cube and gleni's had a stroopwafel on top. into it.

dirty dick, paris













a tiki bar in the heart of paris' red light district? one of these things is not like the other. a different bartender pal from london (danny at happiness forgets) recommended it to us, and it helped us end our parisian experience on a nice note after some unpleasant encounters with rude waitstaff at other establishments/a general feeling of unwelcomeness in the city. the crowd was mixed -- parents, 20-somethings, and everyone in between -- and the vibe was fun, campy, and unpretentious. i ordered the "monkey seed, monkey screwed," which consisted of banana, salted caramel, pineapple and whiskey. aw yeah. 


hiding in plain sight, amsterdam




mounir forever. after reading about this out-of-the-way cocktail bar on a blog, we found ourselves among only 2 other patrons on a sunday night and cozied up to the bar, beginning a wonderful friendship with mr. hamza. he lit drinks on fire (see video), gave us great suggestions for food and drink, and laughed at our stupid stories. we enjoyed his company, the beverages, and the bar's understated elegance so much that we returned on our last night, and ended up establishing facebook friendships with him. please go there if you find yourself in amsterdam -- the drinks are admittedly a bit pricey, but the craftsmanship behind them makes it well worth it.

CUTEST CAFES:

no need to go into detail about these except to say that they were both adorable and rustic af. a blogger's dream!


hart & lova, london





















back to black, amsterdam



























HIPPEST 'HOOD:

shoreditch, london


known as the "williamsburg brooklyn of london," shoreditch is full of cool graffiti, boutiques, and filthy dirty hipsters. we spent an entire day and evening here -- wandering brick lane, eating the neighborhood's famous salt beef beigels on the street, enjoying iced coffee on a cafe's roof terrace, combing through the racks at vintage shops, browsing vinyl at rough trade east, and snacking on deceiving "cocktails" (which were just bowls of cereal) at the cereal killer cafe.

MOST MEMORABLE MOMENTS:

- having a proper british tea at the tea terrace in london and taking 20 billion pictures because it was like an effing alice in wonderland-y dollhouse in there:










- singing along to zayn's "pillow talk" while drinking a pint in a london pub

- seeing this juxtaposition of ariana grande and westminster abbey:




















- spending 10 minutes in the most terrifying bar that gleni or i had ever been to: crobar in london. described online as a "heavy metal bar," it sounded all well and good for two streetwise rock 'n roll-loving girls. that is, until we found ourselves in a small, dark room with a poor man's alice cooper, a leering white trash (british trash?) couple, and some guy with a ton of face tattoos ... all of whom where staring menacingly at us. we knew we weren't supposed to be there, they knew we weren't supposed to be there. unfortunately, we'd already ordered beers, so we chugged 'em as fast as we could, made moves, and crossed all of the heavy metal bars off of our list for paris.

- having the following conversation with a bartender in london while wearing my hanson/nirvana shirt:
him: "is that hanson on your shirt?"
me: "yes, but it says nirvana."
him: (laughing) "so is it a hanson shirt, or a nirvana shirt?"
me: "the world may never know."

heh heh.

- wandering down the street in paris as a group of four little girls in front of us all gnawed on baguettes. PEAK FRENCH!

- trying to order a croissant in paris at a sidewalk cafe and being brutally rebuffed by a mean waitress with a playboy bunny tattoo on her neck. "NO CROISSANT!" she reprimanded me, saying something in french and storming off. it was like the goddamn croissant nazi. i accepted defeat and ate some of gleni's crepes instead. :(

- eating fresh, hot stroopwafels at a flea market in amsterdam. total sugar coma, but completely worth it:














FAVORITE CITY:

amsterdam














as soon as i set foot outside of the train station in amsterdam, i was in love and immediately declared it my favorite city of the trip, despite the fact that i'd spent less than 20 minutes there. but i've always been inexplicably drawn to it (no, not just because of its chill laws), and my expectations were exceeded. beautiful architecture and canals, super-friendly (and english-speaking) people, a unique cycling culture, and a laid-back vibe all contributed to my affection for amsterdam. plus, the treats! you'd order a coffee and get a little piece of cake with it, or a sandwich and get a cute "soup sample." i love the dutch, guys. it was the only place i was truly sad to leave, so i bought a touristy beanie and a little house souvenir to keep amsterdam alive in my heart forever ... or, at least until my next visit.

Saturday, April 9, 2016

5 things i love right now

1. this song by parquet courts, "outside"



they're back! it was love at first listen when this brooklyn quartet released "stoned and starving" back in 2012, but then they lost me with their last album. i was overjoyed that they seem to have returned to form with their latest, human performance, and i can already tell that this one has strong potential as the theme song for my eurotrip, which begins tomorrow.

2.  the fact that adam green and macaulay culkin made an adaptation of aladdin




















actually, it's kind of terrifying and i kind of hate it. but i've always been strangely fascinated by both of these weirdos. adam green, because he's an emerson drop-out who shares my birthday and writes pleasant sounding, folky tunes that mask disturbingly funny lyrics about fornicating with girls with no legs. mac because he's just the classic child star-turned-complete mess. but i can't deny that i'm at least a little curious about this indie film based on the poster and this article. drugs are bad, mmkay?

3. the new elizabeth & james fragrance, nirvana
















speaking of child stars, i was browsing for a new scent at sephora the other day and fell in love with this one before i realized it's made by the olsen twins' brand. ugh, i know. don't tell anyone. but it's the perfect mix of sandalwood and vanilla and is just yummy, so i make no apologies. only thing missing is a hint of stale cig smoke for that full MK & A experience.

4.  this meme that's too real

does this happen to anyone else at least once a week?






 















5.  this t-shirt


   
heh heh.



Sunday, March 20, 2016

the best of texts from friends, part 3


today, we have ...


new realizations about full house:

new realizations about dawson's creek:


work bathroom weirdness (i had tweeted about being nervous about accidentally playing a video while in the office bathroom):

 
REAL TALK:

 
cougar thoughts:
 



important political discussions: 


 ...and my new life mantra:




Monday, March 7, 2016

show review: SWMRS at the middle east


yesterday was interesting. first of all, i can't recall ever going to an afternoon show that wasn't a music festival. second, i'm a little older the target demographic of oakland punk band SWMRS (who i wrote about a couple weeks ago), so i was amused but not surprised when i looked around at one point and realized i was the only one with a beer in hand. sigh. however, i immediately loved the band's recent release drive north -- produced by zac carper of FIDLAR, one of my favorite garage bands -- so i braved the tween scene to experience their live show.

locals burglary years opened, seeming slightly out-of-place with their moody temper trap-esque indie rock jams. the frenetic lead singer was wearing a smiths shirt with a picture of elvis, and i could totally hear the morrissey influence. it was a solid start to the afternoon, which i appreciated as bros and brats began to fill the room.

next up was gymshorts out of providence, RI. i was familiar with the name, as they're on one of my favorite labels, burger records, but had never listened to any of their stuff. as soon as lead singer sarah strolled out, sporting unkempt hair, a nose ring, and an oversized ren & stimpy t-shirt, i knew it was going to be good. not gonna lie, i developed a little bit of a girlcrush. their aggressive, bratty brand of rock 'n roll included chuckle-worthy lyrics like "ding-dong ditch, your mom's a bitch" and lots of songs about generally badass behavior (this was my favorite). before they left the stage, i noticed a sticker on the drums that said "kill your local alpha male." i love these kids!

then, san diego's the frights were on deck. they had great stage presence, and by all accounts, i should have loved their jangly vibes. "cold" had me grooving for sure, but i think the sudden mosh pit that formed around me towards the beginning of the set kind of took me out of the music a lil' bit. get off my lawn!

finally, SWMRS took the stage and launched right into a high-energy performance of their whole album ... that is, after lead singer cole gave an extended, adorable smirk to the crowd (he's 20, guys, it's fine).


cougar feelings aside -- between bassist seb mueller's insanely awesome leopard-print coat and cole's stage-diving antics, they were as fun to watch as they were to listen to.



joey armstrong, son of billie joe from green day, kept it all together with some insane drum skills, and i went as nuts as a 15 year-old schoolgirl when guitarist/vocalist max began singing my favorite tune, "Brb."

but the best moment? well, that was obviously their hilarious, delightful, singalong ode to miley cyrus (entitled "miley," obvs) in which miss cyrus is lauded as a punk rock queen. look it up, you'll love it. i captured some of it here, but unfortunately not the part where cole went, "and look at that, the clock just struck 4:20" in the middle of the song. on-brand, SWMRS, on-brand.



go check these kids out if they're in your 'hood, because i have a feeling they're going to be getting real big real soon. no, i refuse to go for the obvious pun about making a splash. ugh, couldn't help it, sorry. just listen to SWMRS, aiight?


Saturday, February 20, 2016

5 things i love right now

1. this song by SWMRS, "figuring it out"



i first heard this song on my spotify discover weekly playlist a few weeks ago (nice work, spotty) and liked it immediately. however, i find new things to love with each listen: the "whoa-oh-whoa" of the chorus, the fun, summery imagery of "pop rocks and cherry cola," and the singer's audible chuckle when he says "wake and bake on wednesday." and yesterday, i learned that the drummer is the son of billie joe armstrong of green day. carry the torch, dude!

2. instagram memes

these stupid things have just really been speaking to me lately. here's one from the late, great trevso_electric.


A photo posted by trevso_electric (@trevso_electric) on



3. this tv show, younger 















not sure how i haven't written about this show yet, but it seems as good of a time as any since it just returned for its second season. the gist is that sutton foster plays a 40 year-old divorcee who is trying to get back into the working world after raising her daughter for 18 years, and ends up lying about her age to snag a job in publishing. hilarity and drama ensue! america's underrated sweetheart hilary duff plays her millennial coworker/bestie, and hot AF nico tortorella stars as her tattoo artist boyfriend. despite what you may have heard, i am the worst tv watcher, but i binged the first season of this in one weekend. watch it!

4.  these chill lizards



NEW SPIRIT ANIMAL.

5. prince's new passport photo























need i say more?

Sunday, February 7, 2016

famous proverbs, updated for the 21st century

















a watched phone never vibrates.















a like on facebook is worth AT LEAST two on instagram.


















one man's trash is kanye west's wife.

















all good viral videos must come to an end.
















there's no place like home ... except an air bnb.













a chain is only as strong as its weakest yelp review. 














the squeaky wheel gets the HBO series and book deal.






















keep your facebook friends close, and your family members on restricted profile.






















when in rome, take a shit-ton of snapchats.













better late than having FOMO.




Thursday, January 21, 2016

the best of texts from friends, part 2

in this installment, we have:


 punny book ideas:
 


extra-terrestrial dating dealbreakers:



ambivalence about being 
pursued on instagram by daniel friggin' v, the hottest project runway contestant of ALL TIME:


 

important, realistic conversations about harry styles:
 
 

a late-night pep talk during which i fervently referenced fetty wap, that i have absolutely no recollection of:


 and, of course, bieber lust:


Saturday, January 9, 2016

5 things i love right now

1. this pullover sweater from anthropologie 



y'all know that i never buy anything from anthropologie (besides candles and mugs) unless it's DEEPLY discounted, so imagine my delight last week when i saw that they were having a tag sale where errything was 25% off. even the stuff on the clearance rack, which is where i found this beauty. cozy, comfy, and perfect for these winter months when your soul just dies.

2. this hip-hop song, "in my room"



i'm still into this song a month later and wondering why it's not a hit yet. perfect for a dance party!

3. victoria's secret shea body butter

vicky's is amazing because they basically just keep discontinuing and reintroducing the same fragrances under different names, and ladies eat it up. it took me a full week to realize that i was also obsessed with this stuff like 6 years ago when it was the secret garden collection. now it's the "supersoft cotton moisture complex" or some bull. all i know is that it makes you smell like a yummy cookie and i'm into it.

4. tarot cards 



i've been gettin' mad mystical as of late, and have been brushing up on the ancient art of the tarot, which is supposed to help illuminate any issues in your life and provide guidance/food for thought. sure, it's probably total bullshit, but it's way cheaper than therapy .... and the cards are wicked pretty.

5. chris d'elia's stand-up



it's weird -- i don't care for chris' TV work at aaaaall, but his stand-up makes me wanna pee my pants. just about every set i watch has my stomach hurting and tears rolling down my cheeks. love how he laughs at himself and just keeps riffing and riffing on each joke. i just bought tickets for my friends and i to see him in may, and i can't wait. this bit in particular kills me.