first and foremost: i had the most amazing, perfect, smooth, wonderful trip and loved portugal!
second: i try to keep it pretty real on the internet, and i'll be honest that i was definitely a little too optimistically naive about COVID shit right now and will probably not be traveling out of the country again for a bit! you still have to test negative to fly back to the U.S., and while i obviously knew this — and that there was a possibility that i'd be stuck in portugal if i tested positive —finding out as i was getting my test a day before my flight that a woman in my tour group (whom i'd eaten multiple meals across from/next to and spent time with) actually tested positive sent me into a total meltdown spiral for those 15 minutes that i was waiting to get my results. i still have no idea how i didn't get it given that i was maskless and in very close contact with her, even though i was very vigilant about wearing KN95s on the plane, the bus, and anytime i was indoors. i don't really wish that kind of stress on anyone, so just some food for thought if you're contemplating international travel anytime soon. that being said, again, it was otherwise an incredible trip, so let's get to iiiit. :)
p.s. because i am completely psychotic, i took 750 (!) photos in one week so if you care to waste an hour of your life on them, be my guest!
porto
in the meantime, i ended up sitting next to who would become my best friend on the tour, a lovely woman named nolene, on my flight from madrid to porto and we immediately bonded. she was down to join me for lunch — yay! however, i did not realize it was mother's day and labor day weekend in portugal, so the restaurant i wanted to go to was closed — boo! nevertheless, we found ourselves at this homey and traditional portuguese restaurant down the street called restaurante madureira, where we got the bacalhau (a portuguese specialty involving salted codfish that i soon learned is prepared in various different ways depending on the place). it was great, except for the fact that it had dollops of MAYO aka my greatest nemesis on top. minus 10 points. we also met this nice portuguese woman who seemed to be a bit younger than me who was helping us translate the menu, and then asked us to add her on facebook and then started getting a little aggressive with her messaging; to the point where nolene nicknamed her "stalker chick," bahaha. anyway, fun start to the trip!
every go ahead tour (this is my third with them and please ask me for more info if you are considering them!) has an included welcome dinner and farewell dinner that gives you the chance to meet and bid adieu to your tour buddies. our welcome dinner was at this great gastropub-type restaurant called brasão coliseu, and the atmosphere was cozy and lovely.
they gave us a bunch of appetizers, including these really good croquettes with cheese and some sort of yummy mystery meat...
and then for the entree, we were served this traditional portuguese meal called a francesinha. the best way i can describe this dish is "every kind of sliced meat (ham, steak, sausage??) stacked in between two pieces of brioche with melted cheese and enchilada sauce on top" and like....y'all know i'm pretty fucking disgusting, but even this was testing my limits. made it through about a quarter of it. it tasted very good but it was JUST TOO MUCH!
i slept off the 20 pounds of meat and awoke well-rested in the morning in time for our quick sightseeing tour, which included a visit to the beautiful train station...
and the stock exchange building...
after that, we were free to explore! i dragged my buddy nolene along with me to stroll the streets of porto, and the first priority was to grab lunch. we ended up at one of these little cafeteria-style eateries that seem to be ubiquitous in portugal called "pastelarias" that are a cross between a bakery, a coffee shop, and a deli and are supremely confusing and kind of annoyed me, tbh. like the lunch offerings weren't really substantial enough, but there weren't many actual restaurants for sit-down lunches that we came across during our trip in general, either? wahhh #firstworldproblems.
anyway, this pastelaria...i just wanted a goddamn tuna sandwich but somehow, some way, i was presented with more fucking STACKED MEAT (with the tuna?!! GET THIS HAM AND STEAK OFF MY TUNA, YOU MONSTERS). there were also corn kernels in the tuna. ok, bro.
- we went thrifting at HUMANA and i bought some dope palazzo pants (see below). the only thing i love more than thrifting at home is thrifting in a foreign country because 1) it's a unique souvenir and 2) you're reminded of your trip every time you wear what you bought! aww.
- then it was time for coffee at the light, bright, and adorable c'alma coffee room, where the probably-american-expat barista fortunately took pity on us when we were just like "we want...regular coffee. with cream or milk? that's like regular sized and not tiny...and not bitter?" and i knew that inside he wanted to kill us but was like "i gotchu" and for that i appreciate him so much.
- we popped into the most beautiful mcdonald's in the world for a couple pics:
- we visited the bookstore that is supposedly the partial inspiration for hogwart's in the harry potter books, livraria lello (j.k. rowling lived in porto while writing them). IMPORTANT PRO TIP: you don't need to wait in the long line! for 10 more euros, you can buy a fast pass ticket online, immediately get inside, and get a little souvenir book, to boot — i got alice in wonderland. it was so baffling to me that people were willing to pay 5 euros and wait for hours instead of paying 15 euros and not waiting for hours. like, what? it was gorgeous.
upon our tour director's recommendation, we wandered back down to the ribeira district to have what i think was my favorite dining experience of the trip at wine quay bar. we snagged a table right at the open-air front window that overlooked the douro river, and sat there for at least 2 or 3 hours drinking port wine (fun fact: there is white port wine and it is so good and i am addicted!), eating sheep cheese and sardines in this really fresh tomato sauce and fawning over the cool, stylish 20-something portuguese girlies who were smoking cigarettes and gossiping on the patio. core memory. the staff was incredibly friendly and accommodating and i highly, highly recommend this place if you ever find yourself in porto.
we ended the evening with a nightcap at this very dark, small bar i had on my list called the royal cocktail club where we met some fellow american tourists in town for a wedding. i got the "happiness is everywhere," and i can't recall exactly what was in it now but it involved tropical fruit juices and was so good:
coimbra
the next morning, it was off again to our next city, but not before a stop in the city of coimbra. not much else to say except: suuuper charming town! just look at it!
i had lunch at this lovely spot, cafe central, with a few of the other ladies in my tour group, and got a surprisingly tasty mushroom flatbread pizza, a traditional portuguese pastry with egg custard in it, and a scoop of amaretto gelato.
évora
our next destination was évora, a small, walled medieval city where we spent one night. our tour director told us to "lower our expectations" for the hotel, so i was picturing a friggin' motel 6 or something, and it ended up being my favorite of the entire trip! absolutely, adorably quaint. just like the city!
once we settled in, nolene and ducked into this wine bar on a side street — piparoza — on a whim, and i got a delicious tuna steak:
the next day began with a visit to a cork factory, a type of factory i had no idea existed. i have never once thought about corks or how they are produced, and the only understanding my emo ass had that cork was a type of tree was because of fall out boy's album from under the cork tree.
another sightseeing tour followed...
and the chapel of bones was so wild and spooky:
for lunch, i was bound and determined to have a sit-down meal at an actual restaurant and not at another one of the little "pastelarias" with the stacked meat croissant sandwich bullshit, so we wandered out of the main square and saw a sign for a "restaurante" (YES) pointing us down a side street...and then another...and stepped into this tiny place, o garfo, where there were only two other patrons and all of the tables were set beautifully but looked straight out of 1985 and i was totally sold.
as we were enjoying it, i overheard them talking to the waiter again to clarify what it was and he was like "cheek! cheek!" and it all made sense! beef cheek, AKA part of one of the top five meals of my entire life that i had at chez boulay in quebec city eight years ago. like i still think about this meal at least once a month, and my parents tease me because i was with them and they're always ribbing me for eating weird shit. ANYWHO, this beef cheek was not quite as good but it was still very good! and dipping the french fries in the jus....oh fuck yes. yessss.
then nolene kindly offered to take some nice photos of me wearing my brand new thrift store pants and we explored a little more:
algarve region
our hotel in portimao was practically a freakin' resort on a marina, a block from the beach, and i'm convinced that portuguese movie stars stay here. it was so nice! like...my room view, are you kidding?
the restaurant looked out at the ocean, too, ahhh:
i hadn't signed up for the optional excursion here, an algarve coastal cruise, prior to the trip because my brain says "immediately no" in a harry styles voice whenever i see the word "cruise" and for some reason i thought it was some kind of dinner cruise type deal. but when our tour director described it the day prior and said we would get into little boats and go along the cliffs and see the caverns up close, i was like "wait, yes, i definitely want to do this!" and booked it immediately. so glad i did, because it was the highlight of the entire trip and one of the most amazing sights of my life, right up there with machu picchu! i was actually in tears at points during it because i couldn't believe it was real.
uhh sidenote, our boat dudes were young and cute, and one of the girls in our group made some comment toward the end of the cruise about it being the single ladies boat and the hot one was like "why didn't you tell us sooner?" and i was thinking DO NOT THREATEN ME WITH A GOOD TIME but i behaved myself and just texted my friend instead, muahaha.
after all of the meat, i was fiending for some more fresh grilled seafood, and the seaside town of lagos delivered on that. nolene had been craving more sardines after the ones in porto the first night, so we saw some on the menu of milenium jardin, we were sold. i am shocked reading the bad reviews of this place because we had an absolutely wonderful lunch and the ambiance was great! i got grilled sea bass with potatoes and vegetables and a caipirinha (cachaça, sugar, and lime) to drink:
before heading back to the bus, we did some shopping and i got some life-changing banana chocolate gelato:
dinner was interesting: the restaurant, no solo agua, was this massive beachfront asian eatery and almost resort-like tiki bar type place that rented out cabanas. i could have done without the constant cigarette smoke wafting from the european hooligans whooping it up nearby, but my god, were they entertaining; one of them would take a sip of his beer, a drag from his cigarette and then a hit from his vape. i was cackliiiing. oh, and my spicy tuna roll got the job done, too:
lisbon
lisbon was our final destination on the trip, and i do wish i was able to spend more time there since i really only got a day-ish. when we arrived around lunchtime on friday, nolene and plopped down outside of this little sweet-looking sidewalk cafe called peixaria do rossio where i had a lemonade and more codfish "a bras," basically baked into a little casserole with potatoes and onions and maybe egg? it was SO GOOD and salty and perfect.
in my tireless efforts to do it for the 'gram, i dragged poor nolene to "the pink street," which was cool but could definitely use a fresh coat of paint:
and then, oops, i got us very lost getting back to our group meeting spot. but man, the unexpectedly beautiful sights we saw along the way! the best part of traveling, always.
our sightseeing tour was a little bus-heavy for my taste, but we walked around a bit and ate one of the pasteis de nata, a famous portuguese custard tart, and checked out this dope church.
also, sorry, i realized after i posted my instagram story about eating at a michelin star restaurant that evening that i unintentionally lied — FOGO is in the michelin guide but doesn't have a star. i didn't know there was a difference, and the chef (alexandre silva) does have a star for another one of his restaurants, so CLOSE ENOUGH IMO. my meal — grilled wrasse fish in garlic butter sauce with spinach and potatoes, was incredible. one michelin star from me!
sintra
the following day was an optional excursion to sintra and the portuguese riviera. the town is mainly known for this massive, disney-lookin' castle that looks straight out of a fairy tale and i was obviously in love.
we made a quick stop in the little town center (SURPRISE, it was cute af again) for an al fresco lunch at paco real on the main square where i got octopus and then did a shot of cherry liqueur out of a chocolate cup for 1 euro. dope.
cascais
ok ok ok out of all of the cute towns, this was the cutest, i swear. cascais is on the portuguese riviera and reminded me a lot of nice, france, one of my favorite places i've ever traveled. some of the buildings almost looked bavarian in their detail, and i was just so charmed.
back in lisbon, we had a bit of free time before dinner and i was craving a solo walk. i swear, walking in a new-to-me city by myself while listening to music and taking photos is my #2 favorite thing in the world to do besides see live music. my soul was singiiiing.
and to end the trip, our farewell dinner at o funil involved more codfish casserole, more wine, chocolate cake, and a lovely conversation with some other members of my group whom i hadn't gotten to chat with much previously!
at breakfast that morning, i was invited to join some of the group for a nightcap at this super vibey basement bar i'd wanted to check out the previous night but was too tired to, metro e meio. i got "the alice" with pisco and tropical juices again because i was just on a tropical alice in wonderland trip this whole vacation apparently, and it was the ideal sendoff before i slept for 3 hours and booked it to the airport at 3am for the journey home. awesome!
