HAVE MERCY!

if you were following the news at all last week, you may have heard rumblings about an extortion case involving the one, the only, uncle jesse a.k.a. john stamos. now, the story was that a 17 year-old girl met UJ in florida on a guys "cheer-up" trip when he was down 'n' out over ms. romijn, and brought her back to his hotel room (coincidentally, according to the girl, filled with coke & strippers - not cliche at all) and offered to, um, pay her some lip service, if you catch my drift. she refused, and along with her bum boyfriend, is now trying to get almost $700,000 along because she claims to have incriminating photos. 

now, stamos admits he did ask this chicky for "hot" pictures via email after their first encounter - he says she told him she was over 18 - by saying possibly the best thing i've ever heard: "show me some wild pictures if you're so wild, wild child"...10 points for john stamos. but continually denies that any sketchy pics existed when he started getting threatening emails from a random girl claiming to have them. 

blah, blah, blah...the moral of this story is that the girl's case can be completely debunked after hearing that she REFUSED TO GET DOWN WITH JOHN STAMOS. i'm sorry, but girrrrl, that just doesn't happen. the man is epic. the hair is practically the 8th wonder of the world. and you know he wouldn't disappoint. scientifically provable. just sayin'.

p.s. apparently the couple was found guilty today of extortion. boo-YAH. keep on rockin' in the free world, uncle jesse. we love you.