HAVE MERCY!

if you were following the news at all last week, you may have heard rumblings about an extortion case involving the one, the only, uncle jesse a.k.a. john stamos. now, the story was that a 17 year-old girl met UJ in florida on a guys "cheer-up" trip when he was down 'n' out over ms. romijn, and brought her back to his hotel room (coincidentally, according to the girl, filled with coke & strippers - not cliche at all) and offered to, um, pay her some lip service, if you catch my drift. she refused, and along with her bum boyfriend, is now trying to get almost $700,000 along because she claims to have incriminating photos. 

now, stamos admits he did ask this chicky for "hot" pictures via email after their first encounter - he says she told him she was over 18 - by saying possibly the best thing i've ever heard: "show me some wild pictures if you're so wild, wild child"...10 points for john stamos. but continually denies that any sketchy pics existed when he started getting threatening emails from a random girl claiming to have them. 

blah, blah, blah...the moral of this story is that the girl's case can be completely debunked after hearing that she REFUSED TO GET DOWN WITH JOHN STAMOS. i'm sorry, but girrrrl, that just doesn't happen. the man is epic. the hair is practically the 8th wonder of the world. and you know he wouldn't disappoint. scientifically provable. just sayin'.

p.s. apparently the couple was found guilty today of extortion. boo-YAH. keep on rockin' in the free world, uncle jesse. we love you.

oh constantine, how far you've come...

last month, i randomly decided that i wanted to take a 4th of july weekend trip to new york city. of course, one of my NYC musts is to see a show of some sort while i'm there - otherwise, it just doesn't feel right. now, i'm not a HUGE fan of musicals in general - mainly because i'm not into the showtunes. however, i did love the pop-rock ditties of RENT so much that i saw it 3 times (twice on broadway, one on the farewell tour in boston). so this time, when i was struggling to think of what to see, i remembered seeing performances from "rock of ages", a show featuring 80s hair band covers and silly american idol alum constantine maroulis,  on the today show and macy's parade and being pretty impressed. it was decided! i took my spot in line at the half-price TKTS booth on saturday morning which was conveniently right across from my hotel (shoutout to the doubletree!) and was pleasantly surprised when i snagged a pair of 7th row orchestra tickets for that day's matinee performance. scoooore. 

my friend gleni joined me, as i know she would likely appreciate this type of thing as much as i. we took our seats, gleeful about the rock 'n' roll lighters - er, little flashlights that looked like lighters - that we were given upon entering the theatre. the show began with a pre-curtain voiceover speech by david coverdale from whitesnake and i immediately knew it was love. for the next 2.5 hours, i was the happiest girl in the rockin' world. styx! warrant! poison! it was like a huge amazing 80s party, complete with lot of glitter and lots of hair. and a strange thing happened....i developed a little crush on constantine. which even frightened me. but his singing was so legit, guys. he was definitely meant for the broadway stage and not for theme weeks on idol. but i digress. i also highly enjoyed the bret michaels-inspired frontman character, "stacee jaxx", who fell into drunken stupors and did a lot of pelvic thrusts. thankfully, the show is just about to start a national tour (featuring constantine!) so i urge you, if you want to have your face melted, you gotta see this, man - totally going again in boston. i found a little clip from last year's tony's that gives you the gist: 

I WANNA ROCK!