the record-setting season premiere of "dancing with the stars" did many things: it confirmed that the hired singing guns should NEVER attempt a ke$ha song, reminded us that nicole sherziwhatsherface is kim kardashian's evil and more annoying twin, and proved to us that pam anderson's still got "it". and, well..."those", for that matter. but mainly, it got me thinking about who i'd throw into the mix for my dream "dancing with the stars" cast:
1. anthony bourdain
the man can cook, the man can eat. the man can snark all of our asses off. but can he dance?!
2. tyra banks
i mainly just want to see her weave fall off mid-dramatic-dip.
3. lady gaga
she'd probably win, dancing-wise. but seeing her win wearing muppets or bubble wrap would be even better.
4. lil' wayne
imagine, after every performance....lil' weezy throwin' dolla billz into the crowd.
5. arnold schwarzenegger
just call him the dancenator.
6. paula abdul
well, we know her posture will be straight up...and she'll be high as a kite.
7. andy dick
love him. though he'd so get sued for trying to grope one of the dancers.
8. lindsay lohan
"i call this one 'the jitterdrug'!"
9. shaun white
maybe they could make the dance floor into a half-pipe for an episode & he could show 'em what's up.
THINK OF THE PURPLE COSTUMES!
11. gordon ramsay
if he receives anything less than a 10...judges, beware: "you incompetent wankers! get your heads out of your asses!"
so, who would make up YOUR dream DWTS cast? spill it!