laissez les bons temps rouler: new orleans!

take me back to new orleans, please. the third city in our southern travel series, gleni and i decided upon NOLA back in the fall when we were trying to figure out which locale to conquer after austin and nashville. neither of us had been, and we were both intrigued by everything we'd heard. it turned out to be not only our best trip, but probably the greatest trip i've ever taken. legit!

before i get into the good stuff, i HIGHLY recommend staying at the prince conti hotel. i was so pleasantly surprised at how cozy, cute, and well-kept our room and the whole property was. it's only half a block from bourbon street, but on the quiet end of the french quarter, so noise wasn't an issue for us. the staff was so friendly, and there's also a great little cafe attached to the hotel that's open for breakfast and lunch.

FOOD:

central grocery

this famous muffuletta was the perfect first meal, because neither of us had eaten since before our early AM flights and needed sustenance in the form of large quantities of italian meats. we split half of one, and it was more than enough. i am literally still dreaming about it. the olive salad and dressing really just sealed the deal. order the zapp's dill chips with it if you go.

acme oyster

chargrilled oysters all day. we made friends with our second retired couple of the trip here.

praline connection

no frills soul food. check out my stewed quarter chicken, mac and cheese and collard greens. i also got a praline to go and learned from the waiter that in nawlins, you say "prahhhline." whatever.

commander's palace

hands down, the most insane, upscale dining experience of my life. we escaped into this southern culinary landmark (emeril is among the chef alumni, and james beard winner tory mcphail is currently cooking there) after we abandoned our walking tour of the garden district. our tour guide had mentioned for the 100th time that nicolas cage has been arrested 4 times in new orleans (twice with his wife), and other dumb facts we didn't really care about, and we'd had enough. anyways, the hostess talked us into making reservations for later that evening, and i literally had to call a reservation hotline from the lobby of the restaurant. fancy, huh? we got dolled up, came back, and were greeted by at least 10 smiling servers who said "welcome" on the way to our table. it was like "be our guest" up in there. things that happened:

• we got "mardi gras sidecars" (pictured above) that came with free beads
• the waiter walked each of us to the bathroom.
• the waiter gave gleni a NEW GLASS when the ice started to melt in her water. wait what?
• the waiter shined a little flashlight into my purse when i couldn't find my umbrella as we were leaving. WHY DID HE HAVE A FLASHLIGHT?
• we got to see the kitchen when we accidentally started going down the wrong staircase to leave, and the hostess swooped in to let us know that it was totally fine because it was an open kitchen. cool.

ALSO, THE FOOD.

soup trio: turtle (BEST), butternut squash/sweet potato, and gumbo

seared gulf fish with vegetable succotash 

bread pudding soufflé with whiskey cream sauce omggggg

cafe du monde

we HAD to, and it was so worth it. who doesn't love fried dough? we lucked out with no line since we went on a monday morning. i was fully prepared to hate the chicory-infused coffee, but i found it completely delicious, and nowhere close to starbucks in terms of bitterness. the beignets were a revelation as expected. powdered sugar errywhere.

DRINK:

carousel bar

located in the hotel monteleone, this bar almost rivals the place with a hot tub in the middle of the dance floor as the most unique bar i've ever been to. true to its name, it looks like a carousel (no horses, though), and you revolve sloooowly around it as you drink. cool at first, probably not the more you imbibe.

arnaud's french 75 bar

stopped for a nightcap at this cocktail bar on our first evening, and met this adorable older couple from mississippi who were absolutely hilarious. the guy ordered us each the signature drink (the french 75, duh) and couldn't stop laughing at us when he said that he'd known his lady for 30 years and gleni responded, "we haven't been alive for 30 years!" then we took a picture with them where i'm in a headlock for reasons unknown:

lafitte's

oldest bar in the country! for some reason, the bartender was like, berating me for not being done with my drink 10 minutes after i ordered it. step off, bruh. so we ran away from him and sat around a piano on the other side of the bar and sang beatles songs with this weird hippie lady. cool vibes though.

pat o'brien's

we tried the notorious hurricane drinks, which led to drunk shopping at 1pm on sunday afternoon. i actually had to throw mine out 80% of the way through because i was ALL SET.

FUN:

celebrity sightings:

sorry, but i'm still not really over randomly meeting josh homme in the street and i need to discuss it for a minute. i picked a queens of the stone age song as one of my favorites from last year. i posted a semi-raunchy tweet about mr. homme a couple weeks ago during his grammy performance with dave grohl and trent reznor. he may or may not be on one of my pinterest boards. and he's one of anthony bourdain's close buddies. so ... PRETTY big deal for me. i credit this destined moment to the lucky penny i picked up about 4 hours earlier at the muffaletta place, since it was complete chance that we got lost en route to our destination and walked down the street where the magic happened.

the best part is that he's been in the news twice in the past week for being surly/salty, and here i am just touching his arm and acting like his new BFF. he was nothing but nice to me, and even complimented my phone case (which is hot pink with houses on it??? no idea). he sent us on our way with a "cheers. have a great night, ladies," and i died. i think he was under the influence of at least one thing. loved aaaaall of it.

we also saw matt smith from doctor who. i wouldn't have recognized him but gleni did, so that was fun.

cat's meow

we went to this karaoke bar twice in one night and didn't even drink either time. that's how entertaining it was. at one point we couldn't stop laughing at these drunk hos that were up on stage smoking cigarettes and singing like dying cats to miley cyrus' "we can't stop." i even took a video of it because it will forever make me laugh when i feel sad. i also developed a weird crush on the karaoke host's hype man, who was kind of a lil' jon doppelganger but in a hot way (gleni captured both he and the host in the video below). they gave some random birthday girl a lap dance to ginuwine's "pony" and it was genius.




catcalls

speaking of felines, we received some of the most verbose catcalls ever during this trip, mostly from gutter punks. among them:

"i just want you to know that you're both beautiful, each in your own individual way."
"hey, i told my mom about you. she wants to meet you."
"go get 'em, girls! you ladies are looking lovely."

weird.


2nd saturday gallery crawl and whiskey tasting

gleni's old roommate lives in the marigny area, a hip neighborhood right outside of the french quarter. we got to see his apartment, which is this huge "shotgun" house (we northerners know it as railroad-style, where you have to walk through one room to get to another). very cool to see. he took a bunch of us around to these art galleries where i ate king cake. i also made myself a saucy letterpress souvenir:

before we parted ways with our hosts for the evening, we stopped into this wine place that hasn't officially opened yet. the owner cracked open some alabama whiskey he just got in, and we had ourselves a little private tasting. it was pretty badass.

jazz at preservation hall

after our fancy dinner on the final night, we decided to keep it classy by taking in some live jazz at the legendary preservation hall. we grabbed old fashioneds next door at pat o'brien's (where i had to dougie in order to leave) and grabbed some seats on the benches in the dimly-lit room. it was a really nice, relaxing, and fitting end to the trip. highly recommended.

all in all, best vacation everrr. seriously. 'til next time, NOLA!

5 things i love right now

1. dunkin' donuts brown sugar cinnamon coffee

believe it or not, i worked at a dunks when i was 19. it was somewhat character-building (i have so much respect for food service workers), somewhat cool (unlimited free coffee AND donuts, fo' real), and somewhat horrifying (i worked the 5am-11am shift, during which i had to make change for my smirking high school crush while wearing a visor and uniform 10 sizes too big for me). BUT I DIGRESS.

my point is that the only things that grossed me out a little bit were the coolatas and the flavor syrups. they just weren't my scene. but these days, i actually live next door to a dunkin' donuts -- my apartment building's parking lot smells like heaven. on a recent visit, i happened to notice a sign advertising a new brown sugar cinnamon flavor, and decided to face my aversion head on. it was glorious! it's all warm and cozy and a perfect pick-me-up for the dead of winter when i look solely to my morning joe to provide me with happiness and caffeine. 

2. rediscovering this mtv special, 25 lame




the year was 1999. chris kattan, denis leary, janeane garofalo, and jon stewart gathered together in an MTV studio to riff on the worst music videos of all time, and magic was made. VHS was still our device of choice, and you best believe that 13 year-old me "taped" this special and watched it until i accidentally recorded over it with making the band or limp bizkit's diary episode or some bull. i thought i'd never see it again, until a few years ago when a wonderful, wonderful person uploaded almost all of it to youtube. something made me think of it the other day, and i still cry from laughter every single time i watch. if you've ever seen the clip of vanilla ice destroying his own video, it's from this. one of my personal favorites, however, was the rico suave bit.  enjoy!

3.  the house fund wallet from modcloth

how did modcloth know that i just started house-hunting and need something cute to keep my funds in? but, um, i feel like this should be a piggy bank or something. because i usually spend the money in my wallet ...


4. this song, "temple," by kings of leon

at first, i loved KOL. then, right around the time i saw them in concert and "use somebody" was hitting hard, i started to hate them. and then "sex on fire" came out and i was just like "SERIOUSLY?". but i've gotta admit, they've redeemed themselves with their latest album, mechanical bull. 92.9 has been playing this one a lot lately and it's just a fun, solid tune. you're alright again in my book, kings.


5. this mug

...and oprah. and anyone else you admire. go get it!

around town: pajama brunch at tremont 647

i've only been to this south end spot twice, so this might be a little presumptuous, but i'm pretty sure that tremont 647 is my spirit restaurant. you know, like a spirit animal, except it's a restaurant. i actually wrote about it in a guest blog post a while back, so things are getting kiiiind of serious now.

it's not just the menu (to which i nod and say "yep, yep, yep, that too" to almost every item), nor the warm and sorta whimsical ambiance, nor the extremely attractive bartenders and waiters (just keepin' it real). all of these things combine to make this place a truly special eatery. oh, and chef andy husbands was on "hell's kitchen" some years ago, so that's pretty legit.

i stopped in for their "pajama brunch" with a friend this weekend -- sans pajamas -- and it was the perfect escape from the torrential downpour outside. things were off to a great start when coffee was promptly delivered to our table by a server in HIS PJs. cute.

to start, we split the house-made cherry cheesecake pop-tart. there was an awkward food moan or two.

SCOPE THIS POP-TART.

my friend ordered the croissant breakfast sammy (maple sausage, fried egg, cheese, and whatever "roasted garlic herb pistou" is) and i went for the pork carnitas benny (hash browns topped with seasoned pulled pork, poached eggs, and hollandaise). i could tell you how amazing it was, but the picture really speaks for itself.

hullo.

perhaps best of all, the staff is super-friendly. i think we were greeted genuinely upon our arrival and thanked upon our departure by every single server and host in the joint. 

so, who's coming back with me for restaurant week?!

the best of the selfie olympics

something called the "selfie olympics" has taken over the internet and i'm obsessed. i guess people got sick of your standard, boring duckface selfies and decided to step it up a notch. and so, a global competition to see who could create the most outrageous, elaborate bathroom selfie was born. the creativity is astounding. who says that the youth aren't doing anything worthwhile? i have no idea who's judging this, but i don't really care. check out some of my faves:

just brushin' her teeth, NBD

beachin' it

kind of breaking the rules, but hilarious

selfie-ception

safari selfie

"ain't even my house" selfie

the "holy crap" selfie

the "forever alone" selfie

"the sandlot" selfie

my 2014 to-do list

four years ago, i decided that resolutions pretty much suck, and that it's so much more satisfying -- and tangible -- to check the items off as you go through the year. an annual "things to do" list was born! after coming up with 100 things for 2011 and 2012, i pared it down to 50 for 2013 and got even more focused this year. going for quality over quantity, and repeating some that i still haven't accomplished (#3, #27, #39). what do you want to tick off of your list in 2014?

1. purchase a home
2. visit new orleans
3. be in a music video
4. take a cooking class
5. swim in an infinity pool
6. finish my book proposal
7. learn enough french to get around
8. use a terrible pick-up line on a random guy
9. visit somewhere that's haunted
10. color my hair
11. get business cards
12. dine at 5  restaurants on the eater boston 38
13. make a collage
14. watch a whole TV series that i've never seen before
15. take the jeopardy online test
16. try air bnb
17. get something that i wrote published on mcsweeney's
18. go to a state fair
19. do volunteer work
20. visit martha's vineyard
21. drink a "green smoothie" :(
22. overcome my eyelash-curling phobia
23. write to a celebrity and receive a response (online or via snail mail)
24. see a (non-musical) play
25. say "yes" to something i want to say "no" to at first
26. make my own sushi
27. crash a wedding
28. buy a plant for my apartment (and don't kill it)
29. participate in a scavenger hunt
30. reconnect with an old friend or acquaintance
31. teach myself a dance routine via youtube tutorial
32. go sailing (or, at least, on a sailboat)
33. pack a picnic lunch and eat it on boston common
34. win at pub trivia
35. go to an ice bar
36. make my own pizza
37. win money from a slot machine or scratch ticket
38. send christmas cards
39. go out to dinner by myself
40. watch 5 movies on the IMDB top 250 that i've never seen before

my top 10 songs of 2013!

i started this tradition last year since my attention span is usually too short to deal with full albums unless they're completely amazing. what were your favorites from 2013?

p.s. you can enjoy all of these in playlist form right here.

honorable mention: wavves - "sail to the sun," driver friendly - "ghosts," smallpools - "mason jar," walk the moon - "tête-à-tête""

10. macklemore & ryan lewis f/ ray dalton - "can't hold us"



so this song was technically released all the way back in 2011, but let's be real -- were any of you cool enough to hear it back then? me neither. plus, it was re-released this year, so i'm counting it. i know everyone hates it now, but the first 20 or so times i listened to it were magic. ALRIGHT, OKAY!

9. parquet courts - "stoned & starving"


so early '90s/pavement-ish and i love it. simple. catchy. undeniably awesome bare-bones rock 'n roll.

8. fitz & the tantrums - "the walker"



every year-end song list has to have a tune that includes whistling, right? this one was in heavy rotation for me over the summer. it's just a ton of fun and has a great retro vibe. and so. much. soul!

7. the neighbourhood - "sweater weather"



proof that a song can be really hot without being vulgar. i mean, i appreciate the vulgarity too, don't get me wrong, but this is the most subtly sexy song i've heard in a long time. plus, it's the only one i know of that gives a shoutout to high-waisted shorts, aka my favorite item of clothing.

6. bass drum of death - "way out"



i'd been jamming out to BDOD's second album since he released it this past june, but actually didn't get into this song until i saw him perform it live a few months ago. kind of grungy, kind of psychedelic, kind of haunting, and totally delicious to my ears.

5. new politics - "harlem"



oh, this song deserved so much more than a taco bell commercial. i kept waiting for it to blow up and it just ... kind of never did. not really sure why, because you can't help but want to dance when that chorus hits.

4. queens of the stone age - "i sat by the ocean"



i'mma let you in on a secret. if you want me to do anything or go anywhere, just have josh homme sing the request to me. sigh. it's no "how to handle a rope," but it's a killer track nonetheless.

3. one direction - "kiss you"



1D keeps sneaking onto my list every year. how did they make it into the top five?! whatever, it's not my fault that this song is basically the perfect pop nugget and sounds like a choir of angels serenading you on a mountain made of gumdrops and skittles.

2. walk off the earth - "red hands"



basically just in love with WOTE and everything they do. from the lady of the band, sarah, helping my friend and i get into their sold-out show last year, to lead singer gianni complimenting my blog post about said show, these guys are not only super-talented, they're super-sweet, too. of course, there's also the incredible one-take video for this song that still blows my mind.

1. kurt vile - "never run away"



I. LOVE. THIS. SONG. there really wasn't any hesitation about choosing this as my #1 when making this list, and my spotify year-end thing confirmed that, in fact, mr. vile was my most-listened-to artist. from the yearning chorus to the "hey hey hey hey hey hey maaaan" and lush instrumental, it's basically perfect. he made a legit video for it, but i much prefer this one due to his intense leg-crossing, awkward air guitar motions, and adoooorable daughter.

death to the slow fade!

gather 'round, kids! today, we're going to talk about some awful phenomena that seem to pervade today's dating culture: "ghosting" and its evil, heinous twin, the "slow fade."

first, let's look at what we're dealing with here. urban dictionary defines "ghosting" as the act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date. while the "slow fade" is when someone is lacking in readiness, or willingness to accept a budding relationship and therefore institutes this passive aggressive method of disappearing from a relationship altogether over an extended period of time.

i think it's important to note that in cases where you go on one date with someone and neither of you reach out, that's not ghosting. neither is a hookup where you both agree that this is just a solitary occurrence. but after you've been out a couple times (or have been dating for weeks or months) and CERTAINLY after you've acquired carnal knowledge of this person, vanishing into the night just makes you look like a douchecanoe. really, it does. come onnnn, bro.




(this one goes out to the ghosted gals out there.)


yes, i've been ghosted, and yes, i've been slow-faded. make no mistake, both are absolutely despicable behaviors, and can make even the most confident girl go completely britney-in-2007 cray-cray and want to throw her phone into the ocean. it's really not pretty, but slow-fading is truly the worst of the worst. instead of being ignored completely, you get occasional, teeny-tiny breadcrumbs from the other person that make you feel like you could be overreacting. "maybe they really are just busy!" you think. "i mean, they DID say they wanted to get together, but we didn't talk about specifics ... maybe i'll hear from him tonight!" you think. and then, you snap out of it and your rational brain goes "bitch, get real! he hasn't even liked any of your instagram photos in 3 weeks."

i don't care where you're from, or how you were raised. in no universe should it be acceptable to let another human being -- one you have presumably spent an enjoyable period of time with AND have probably seen nekkid -- just disappear from view, like a TV show you got sick of watching and decided to abandon halfway through the season. grow a pair, put on your big boy pants, and just holla at yo' girl to let her know that you don't wanna holla at her no more, okay? you don't even have to call! and i'm guessing you're probably not the "phone call type" if you're pulling these shenanigans to begin with. regardless, a simple text that says "hey, not feeling this anymore, but i hope you find someone great" will do. you don't have to explain why. and if the other party presses, just make something up if you don't want to get into it. i guarantee that a white lie will go over much better than silence ... or a lame text response that comes a week later. why even bother, y'know? 

while reading up on this stuff on the interwebs (LOTS of interesting articles -- every word of this was my life at one point), i also came across a concept called passionate detachment. yeah, it was invented by one of those so-called dating coaches, but i can't deny that it's a great idea, and a simple one. "you are passionately open to all dating possibilities, but you’re not attached to any outcome. you don’t expect anything of your partner, and you allow your relationship to unfold naturally and at its own pace, without pushing any kind of agenda." i like the sound of that, especially when a dude could so easily disappear at a moment's notice. easier said than done, though, right?

so, while being all passionately detached, i will continue to call out the ghosts and slow faders of the world for their offenses and kindly let them know that they're being dicks. what happens beyond that, i can't control. it's probably too presumptuous to think that i've saved their next not-so-lucky lady from the agony of queasy feelings, overanalyzing, and self-doubt.

but hey, a girl can dream! 

5 things i love right now

1. this adorable dog, floppy bear

when i thought that dogs didn't get any more adorable than boo, i was so wrong. meet floppy bear, the cute-as-a-button samoyed with a terrible name that has improved my instagram feed by at least 150% this week. doesn't hurt that shaun white's apparently a fan, too.

2. mat devine doing dramatic readings of stuff

i've written about the multi-talented mr. devine's blog posts before, but i recently discovered that he also does deadpan youtube readings of various things, from restaurant menus to hip-hop songs. my personal favorite is one of the latter: "buy you a drink" by t-pain. pure gold; there are few things better than a pasty white musician saying "damn, shawty."



3. this twitter account, @raplikelilwayne

why didn't i think of this? you see, weezy follows a pretty simple formula for his lyrics. someone has capitalized on this, and it's the gift that keeps on giving:

"Stole a fat guy's wallet, call that Robin Thicke"
"Answer no on a test, call it Quiznos"
"Pushed Tyra Banks down a hill, call that a role model"
"Took my old girlfriend out to dinner, call that Fed-Ex"

4. kitschy movie stuff from etsy

adding all of these to my christmas list right now.

dazed and confused

don't tell mom the babysitter's dead

empire records

5. amber riley's freestyle routine on the dancing with the stars finale

i don't watch DWTS, but my mom's obsessed, and made me watch this when i came home for thanksgiving. all i have to say is "YOU GO, GIRL." probably one of the best dance routines i've ever seen performed on TV. though i didn't follow this season, this performance alone convinced me that she deserved to win.

a recipe for the best cake in the whole friggin' world.

sorry to say, but i've been holding out on you guys. i actually have this recipe for the most delicious, out-of-control amazing cake you've ever tasted in your life. and i've had it for a couple years now. it's top-secret stuff, but i figured that i would share it since we're heading into the season of giving and goodwill and all that jazz.

okay, i'm totally kidding about it being top secret (i snagged this baby off of pinterest). i was NOT kidding, however, about it being the best cake on the planet. it takes some time to make, as all good things do, but OMG -- when you taste it, you'll understand and everything will make sense. oh, i should mention that it's a banana cake, in case you're allergic or hate bananas. whip it up next week for thanksgiving, or at any time for anything, and you'll be everyone's new favorite person. swear. 

CAKE: 

3/4 cup butter
2 1/8 cups white sugar
3 eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
3 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups buttermilk

2 teaspoons lemon juice
1 1/2 cups mashed bananas

FROSTING:

1/2 cup butter, softened
1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese,
softened
3 1/2 cups confectioners' sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

DIRECTIONS:

1. Preheat oven to 275 degrees F (135 degrees C). Grease and flour a 9x13 inch pan. In a small bowl, mix mashed bananas with lemon juice, set aside. In a medium bowl, mix flour, baking soda and salt. Set aside.
2. In a large bowl, cream 3/4 cup butter and 2 1/8 cups sugar until light and fluffy. Beat in the eggs one at a time, then stir in 2 teaspoons vanilla. Beat in the flour mixture alternately with the buttermilk. Stir in banana mixture. Pour batter into prepared pan.
3. Bake in preheated oven for 1 hour, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of the cake comes out clean. Remove from oven and place directly into freezer for 45 minutes. This will make the cake very moist. (DON'T SKIP THIS STEP!)
4. For the frosting: In a large bowl, cream 1/2 cup butter and cream cheese until smooth. Beat in 1 teaspoon vanilla. Add confectioners sugar and beat on low speed until combined, then on high until frosting is smooth. Spread on cooled cake.

enjoy!

sunday funnies

i've been on a youtube comedy binge this week for some reason, so i decided to rediscover some of my favorite clips. i pretty much just wanted to post all of qaadir howard's videos because i have tears streaming down my face during every one, but the powers that be at youtube won't let me embed them. here are the rest of my favorites!


chris d'elia

chris d'elia's vine videos are great, but his stand-up is also hilarious. the fact that this bit has to do with drake makes it even better. actually, the fact that he laughs like a hyena at his own jokes as he improvs is probably the best part.


sinbad 

my old roommate texted me the other day to tell me that "first kid" was on and she thought of me. this is because of my unwavering and random love for sinbad. but seriously, the dude is SO FUNNY and underrated. my dad and i used to watch his "afros and bellbottoms" HBO special on sundays when i was in high school and laugh 'til our stomachs hurt, and i ended up buying him tickets a few christmases ago to go see him live. he's just as funny like 20 years later.

jared logan


you may have seen this guy on "best week ever" or "last comic standing." he has a great style, and just seems like a cool dude. i keep coming back to this clip in particular, even though he hates on oprah in it.