should've swiped left: a collection of tinder haikus

happy v-day! i've been thinking about my experiences over the past year or so that i've spent on tinder, and figured that i should memorialize my weirdest dates from the infamous app via haiku. please feel free to contribute your own in the comments. also, i received a message this morning which read "are you going to be a snow angel for the blizzard?" oof.

p.s. the above image is from an amazing tumblr, tinder messages on valentines. 


#1

We met for coffee
I ended up in your loft
The old bait-and-switch


#2

You were from Quebec
Drinks, dessert, Eurotrash club
And lots of groping


#3

Violin maker
And a nursing school drop-out
Argued against weed

#4

Still in the closet
You loved the barkeep's bow tie
We got the same drink

#5

Snobby southern boy
Your disdain was palpable
But you liked good bands


#6

A finance fellow
Loved to sing acapella
Acapella sucks

4 tv characters that would make great valentines.

oh, v-day. i know it's all cool to hate you, but i just can't. i mean, there's chocolate involved! it's impossible to hate a day that involves chocolate. but i digress.

i was thinking about how i gave out "clarissa explains it all" valentines one year in elementary school, and what a crush i had on sam. he's being left out of this list because um, i'm no longer 8 years old, but here are the top 4 on-air dudes i wouldn't mind getting some candy hearts from:

1) jordan catalano (my so-called life)

so what if he can't read and he doesn't really have any other ambitions besides fronting the frozen embryos? he wears flannel and he's dreamy, goddammit.

2. jess mariano (gilmore girls)

same type, different show. rory so should have ended up with him!

3. seth cohen (the oc)

a nerd, sure, but a stand-up guy and a fellow music-lover. perfect!

4. nick andopolis (freaks and geeks)

i would basically just like to be jason segel's friend in general...and his f&g character really doesn't seem too far removed from his real-life personality. plus, he's a drummer. and everyone loves drummers.