appy halloween

someone pay me, plz.

a crowdsourced trick-or-treat map

sure, there are legit apps that allow folks to announce whether or not they'll be giving out candy this year, but they can't say WHAT treats they're distributing, nor can kiddos report back on the quality of each stop. i say we start 'em young and train them to be the disgruntled, insufferable yelp reviewers of the future. however, i would agree that any house in possession of bit-o-honeys or mary janes should be avoided at ALL COSTS. disgusting.

shazam for ghosts

whenever there's a spirit sighting, the biggest gripe is that they never actually say anything, right? just knock shit over and possess your kids and stuff. wouldn't it be great if you could just point your phone at the next apparition you see and get their whole backstory? then, you'd be all like "yo, i totally feel your pain. i've never had typhoid fever, but it seems really intense, so i'd probably be haunting people, too."

a personal costume consultant

similar to cher's daily outfit program from clueless, this app would find the best costume for you and tell you where to get all the stuff you needed for it. as a bonus feature, it would also veto a "sexy" anything IMMEDIATELY. 

halloween tinder

i know, i know. it's hard to imagine anything more bone-chilling than actual tinder, but bear with me. this version only works on halloween, and displays your most compatible mates based on costume choice. kanye west? great, we'll pair you with kim kardashian! a lone hot dog? the hamburger of your dreams is at a party down the street! the best part: there won't be any issue with your matches looking different in person ... at least until the next morning.