the characters on HBO's GIRLS, ranked from best to worst

i just watched the season finale of GIRLS, and got to thinking about how strange it is that i pretty much dislike all of the characters, yet love the show all the same. so, i decided to compile a list of the main characters (according to wikipedia..i wanted to include charlie because i miss him, but he's long gone) and where they fall for me. who do you like? who do you hate?

1. ray

the only one i actually REALLY like. he's so delightfully curmudgeonly and bitter, but also sarcastically funny and the only level-headed person on the entire show. love u, ray bb! FAVE MOMENT:




2. adam

i'm going to get some grief for this one, but you have to admit that adam is the most complex and interesting character on the show, even though he's sort of an asshole like 75% of the time. but above all, he's always honest and tells it like it is. he's a big weirdo, but at least he makes no bones about it.

3. shoshanna

yes, she can be annoyingly chatty and quirky and strange. yet, like ray and adam, she's totally true to herself and honest to a fault. she's also the most innocent of the crew, which is kind of endearing.

4. jessa

she's flaky as hell and makes terrible life choices at times. however, i totally admire her free spirit, "unsmoteable" ways and often wish i could just go with the wind and be as bohemian cool as she is. plus, her accent!

5. elijah

i always love the gay BFF character on any show, but elijah's snarkiness crosses over into pure meanness a bit too often for my taste. i can deal with him in small doses.

6. hannah

ugh. is there anyone who's more self-involved? i know that lena dunham purposely writes the character this way, but she still makes me want to shake her in every episode. prime example: when her e-book editor dies, she asks his wife about the status of her book at his funeral. that's a big. fat. nope!

7. desi

i hate how he calls marnie "babe" all the time and is like a broke-ass version of the dude from "once" and cheated on his girlfriend with marnie, who's even worse than hannah (sorry, spoiler alert?).

8. marnie

can we all agree that she's the most terrible of the terrible people? between her pretentious posturing, obsession with her singing career that's never ever going ANYWHERE, and her homewreckin' behavior, i don't think there's anything she could do to change my mind about her. however, she did give us this scene where she awkwardly covers kanye west's "stronger" at her ex-boyfriend's startup party, which might be my favorite of the entire series. so thanks, marnie!

5 things i love right now

1. female-fronted garage bands

i'm usually iffy on "chick rock," but there are a couple of groups out there that have recently sparked my interest in the genre. both of these tunes seem perfect for chillin' on a stoop with an ice cream cone and pining over cute boys with your BFFs. the twin river track also has one of the most strangely clever videos i've seen in a while.

bully - "brainfreeze"



twin river - "bend to break"



2. this tank top

whenever i find myself in macy's, i instinctively gravitate towards anything that's part of madonna's clothing line, material girl, without even realizing it (because i'm actually 16 years old). so naturally, upon seeing this incredible spray paint-patterned top, i fell in love and had visions of all of the amazing spring and summer adventures i could have in it. aw yeah.

3. the trailer for montage of heck, the kurt cobain documentary



y'all know i love anything grunge/nirvana/kurt, so clearly this documentary will be a must-see.

4.  ben & jerry's cherry garcia ice cream

can we like, make this a thing again? i've always been partial to phish food and half-baked, but i was in a fruity mood the other night and decided to branch out to another classic. cherries, chocolate, and a nod to a rock legend? all about it.

5.  brandy melville

i made my first visit to this store in rome a few years ago. while i was immediately confused by its one-size-fits-all approach, i was also infatuated with its california cool apparel. now that there's one in boston, i get to spend way too much money on impractical crop tops, tees that say "RADICAL," and big plaid flannel shirts. yes!

around town: new highway hymnal and hallelujah the hills at the paramount center

i decided to make it a point to see more live music this year (like i used to back in my high school and college days), and i've gotta say, it's greatly improved my life so far. there's just something about the experience of seeing a band -- whether they're local garage rockers or an up-and-coming indie group -- that is so life-affirming and exciting and fun. last night was one such experience that was particularly unique, and i haven't blogged in like, foreva-eva, so i figured i'd write about it.

the show was apparently the first of its kind at this small theatre space in the paramount near downtown crossing in boston. this theatre typically hosts, y'know, plays and artsy performances rather than raucous rock shows, so my buddy brendan and i weren't quite sure what to expect when we passed through the doors and were greeted by a fancy-looking bro that directed us to the show upstairs. the best way i can (and did) describe the venue: "this is like, out of a movie. one of those teen rom-coms where the main characters go to the local hot spot to see some really cool band play." between the exposed brick, the cute makeshift bar in the corner, and little tables with black tablecloths scattered throughout the room, it oozed classiness. i dug it. but onto the show!

new highway hymnal, a local psych-shoegaze-garage trio, opened. i'd seen them open for bass drum of death a couple of years ago and was super-impressed by their musical prowess since they all look soooo young. their songs have all of the things i love: fuzz, distortion, male/female vocals, and great melodies. also, the female bassist was rocking these awesome ripped black tights that i really wish i could pull off in my daily life.

let's talk about the crowd for a second too, because it was kind of weird. it was a mixed bag of emerson students, cutesy couples, and older dudes with beards that rivaled brendan's. we were fascinated with one of these dudes in particular, who was engrossed in his smartphone for much of the night, and made up wild stories about how he was obviously sexting a honey he met on a dating website for grateful dead fans. obviously.

oh, yeah, hallelujah the hills! i'd also seen them once before, and actually discovered them in kind of a strange way. i used to intern for lead singer ryan walsh's brother right before i moved to boston, and he mentioned them after i told him about my plans. i immediately fell in love with their triumphant group vocals, odd lyrics, and songs that you can't help but sing along to, like "wave backwards to massachusetts." they have a super upbeat energy and funny onstage banter; you can just tell they're having a great time. 

at one point, ryan regaled us with a story about how he was on the train during one of the snowpocalypse storms. while trying to point at something, he inadvertently stuck his finger into a stranger's mouth ("full insertion.") he assured us that, even though we were breaking in this new concert space and it might feel a bit strange, nothing could be more awkward than that moment. 

as you can see, they also had this running montage of video clips playing on a screen throughout the show. according to ryan, it was supposed to be a "pink floyd-type thing." trippy, mayne. sometimes it was amusingly distracting, but it certainly added to the whole quirky vibe of the night. 

OH, and i wanted to steal this amazing white light-up arrow that they had onstage (in the bottom right of the picture above). i was eyeing it the whole night and i don't think i can rest until i find it or a reasonable replica. holler at yo' girl if you can assist with this mission.

should've swiped left: a collection of tinder haikus

happy v-day! i've been thinking about my experiences over the past year or so that i've spent on tinder, and figured that i should memorialize my weirdest dates from the infamous app via haiku. please feel free to contribute your own in the comments. also, i received a message this morning which read "are you going to be a snow angel for the blizzard?" oof.

p.s. the above image is from an amazing tumblr, tinder messages on valentines. 


#1

We met for coffee
I ended up in your loft
The old bait-and-switch


#2

You were from Quebec
Drinks, dessert, Eurotrash club
And lots of groping


#3

Violin maker
And a nursing school drop-out
Argued against weed

#4

Still in the closet
You loved the barkeep's bow tie
We got the same drink

#5

Snobby southern boy
Your disdain was palpable
But you liked good bands


#6

A finance fellow
Loved to sing acapella
Acapella sucks

show i love: hindsight

Y'ALL GOTTA WATCH THIS SHOW THO.

i've been spreading the gospel of hindsight to my friends since i watched the first episode over a month ago, so i figured i'd tell the internet about it.

it's no secret that i'm obsessed with all things '90s, and often feel like i'm a misplaced member of gen-x. i mean, one of the best days of my life was the one where i got to see buffalo tom and the lemonheads perform on boston common for free. so when i heard about a show that revolved around the idea of a woman being transported (via elevator??) back to 1995, i was all in immediately.

surprisingly, the writing and acting are actually quite good, and all of the characters are interesting and relatable, so it's not even a guilty pleasure by any stretch. the soundtrack is spot-on (toadies! alanis! REM! dishwalla!). plus, john patrick amedori plays the main character's shaggy stoner brother -- the one in the trailer that assures her it is indeed 1995 -- and i'm completely and totally in lust with him. unf. if you're reading this, JPA, call me.

but back to the point. please watch this amazing show. it's on vh1. wednesdays at 10, though i watch it on demand because workaholics/broad city obviously takes priority over everything. i'm sure you can find it illegally on the internet, too.

that's all i've got, so i'm gonna go listen to some spacehog and buy some doc martens now.

around town: forge baking company

as a coffee addict, baked goods aficionado, and a writer, i'm forever on the lookout for a place to set up shop and toil away for a couple hours on a sunday morning. let's be real, half of that time is probably spent trying to find the perfect spotify playlist and/or facebook stalking and/or people watching. but i digress.

i recently read on one of my favorite local blogs, somerville beat, that a new cafe had emerged on the scene. while i'm quite loyal to my ol' standby (kickstand cafe in arlington), i was in the mood to mix things up and give the new kid a chance. i'm so glad i did!

forge baking company is housed in an old warehouse space within a shopping plaza (no parallel parking, hallelujaaaah!). it's totally bright, open, and airy. oh, and big! it always bothers me when cafes have like, 2 tables in the whole place. i wanna sit and sip, man. sit and sip i did, thanks to the abundance of seating, which included a counter that looked into the kitchen. no secrets here! there was also a ton of cool art on the walls that i dug.

the menu is large and varied, with both sweet and savory offerings. fresh-baked pastries, muffins, and scones are available alongside more substantial sandwiches and salads. i obviously got the house-made s'more pop tart, because ... uhhh, WOULD YOU JUST LOOK AT IT?

i should also note that there's free wi-fi -- which, as far as i'm concerned, should be a requirement at any coffee shop. you'd be surprised how many places in the area don't offer it, though (::cough::rhymes with "weasel"::cough::).

overall, forge is a great addition to the neighborhood with good coffee, good food, and good vibes. i'm looking forward to becoming a regular!

BLOG BEACH PARTY!

now, for something completely different. i may have been all gung-ho on winter a few weeks ago, but i've moved on and i'm ready for sunshine and warm weather once again. since i have a waaaays to go 'til things warm up (and i go to vegas in april!), i decided to bring the summer vibes here.

we've got the perfect soundtrack:



oh my god, i've rediscovered this song in a big way in the past few days. it was my jam at age 16, and no matter what mood i'm in or how old i get, it never fails to transport me to a boardwalk where i'm eating cotton candy and wearing cut-offs. dig it.


aaaaaand some sweet treats:

can't forget the waves:



and one of those tacky t-shirt shops, for good measure:

your turn! what would you bring to the party?

5 things i love: boston winter edition

if you couldn't tell by the flood of iPhone weather screenshots, it's cooooooooold here in the northeast. i'm hunkered down with a blanket, some coffee, my favorite candles, my wax warmer, my flannel PJs, uhhh you get the idea. but it got me thinking about some of my favorite things to do 'round here when the temps drop and drop and drop and drop.

1. drink hot chocolate at max brenner and LA burdick

if you hate hot chocolate, i feel bad for you, son. there are only a handful of both max brenner and LA burdick locations in the whole country, and the boston area is blessed to host both chains. while both provide top-notch cocoa and ambiance to boot, i've gotta hand it to max brenner because of their adorable hug mugs. also, i made the mistake of ordering a large hot chocolate at burdick a few weeks ago, and almost fell into a chocolate coma on newbury street because it was so rich. but i mean, if i had to fall into a coma, a chocolate one would probably be the best kind, eh?

 

for once, i didn't steal anyone's photos for this one! that's my very own hug mug from a visit to max brenner, and what i like to call a "where's waldo selfie" at LA burdick. 

2. shop for weird vintage jackets and scarves at oona's and raspberry beret

the only thing better than wearing a cute sundress or romper that belonged to some random, strange person is wearing a fur coat or a fluffy patterned scarf that belonged to some random, strange person. y'all know that i am all about secondhand stuff, and thus completely unfazed by all of the odd smells and other unknowns ... perhaps disturbingly so. but anywho, you can find some true gems at oona's in harvard square and raspberry beret in porter square, from big jackets to cute hats and all sorts of other winter wear. plus, how can you NOT love a place named after a prince song?

3. watch people fall down while ice skating at the frog pond

am i a bad person? i mean, i do love watching great skaters do their thang, too. but as someone that has only been on ice skates a few times in her life -- and spent most of those times flat on her ass -- i've just gotta sympathize (while chuckling) with the poor souls that chose to show off their skills (or lack thereof) right there in the middle of boston common. we're laughing with you!


4. eat mac & cheese at the publick house 

ugh, i wish i lived closer! their beer menu is killer, but i come for the mac & cheese. you get your choice of add-ins, which include shrimp, scallops, lobster, and short rib. 'nuff said. 

5. get cozy with a cocktail at JM curley

i'm actually obsessed with this bar. and it's in downtown crossing, so that's saying a lot. from my first visit, when the insanely hot bartender lit my friend's and my drink ON FIRE with a match in his mouth, i was sold. whew, sorry, still get a little flushed thinking about that moment a year later. aside from the drink pyrotechnics and eye candy behind the bar, it's got a super-cozy neighborhood vibe and they have yummy cocktails and an amazing food menu (ramen lasagna, huhhh). plus, they give you bacon-y popcorn! great great great.

my 2015 to-do list

as i began to draft my annual list of things to do, i realized that i'm headed into my 29th year. STOP THE WORLD,  I WANT TO GET OFF. jk, i'm (sort of) cool with it. but i had to dig deep into my 30 before 30 list this time around, considering that i've only completed 7ish of the items on it thus far. there are a couple repeats from years past on here -- can someone please crash a wedding with me?! -- but i'm feeling confident that i can make most of these happen.

what do you want to accomplish in the new year?

1. learn to parallel park
2. secure a book deal
3. go skinny-dipping
4. get my cheeseburger tattoo
5. see the grand canyon
6. kiss in the rain
7. go zip lining
8. meet dave grohl (ok, i'll settle for any famous musician ... but bonus points for dave grohl)
9. do something in vegas that stays in vegas
10.strike up a conversation with a stranger on public transportation
11. go to the zoo
12. pose for a photo in front of tom's restaurant in NYC
13. read i wear the black hat by chuck klosterman
14. start a daily journal
15. [keeping this one to myself]
16. cook dinner for someone
17. attend a celtics game
18. make a fancy cocktail for myself
19. go climbing at brooklyn boulders in somerville
20. have a happy & fulfilling romantic relationship with a grown-ass, emotionally available man
21. ride a rollercoaster
22. dine at the top of the hub
23. buy a home (let's try this again ...)
24. bake one of each of the following: a bread, a cake, a pie, a pastry, and a cookie
25. see a drive-in movie (can you believe i've never been?!)
26. leave a lucky penny for someone to find
27. see a band that i love for the first time in concert
28. book the trip to london/paris/amsterdam that i've been dreaming about for 3 years
29.order a whiskey flight at citizen public & oyster house
30. get ice cream delivery from scoopsies
31. do a "cleanse" (maybe after the ice cream delivery?)
32. relax in a hot tub
33. visit an island
34. begin a collection (i'm thinking souvenir mugs)
35. buy a meal for a homeless person
36. read a famous memoir
37. submit something that i wrote to an anthology
38. go pear-picking
39. make cold-brewed coffee
40. go to a strip club
41. crash a wedding
42. send a snail-mail letter
43. take a class for fun
44. get a tarot reading at the tremont tea room
45. see a movie and then read the book it was based on
46. complete the new york times sunday crossword in one hour or less
47. hang out in a tree house
48. play blackjack
49. attend a dance performance
50.meet someone from twitter in person

my top 14 songs of 2014!

it's that time again! i usually wait until a bit later in the month, but i got inspired a couple of weeks ago and just had to make my list immediately. i also usually count down instead of up, but let's get to the good stuff right away, shall we? handy-dandy spotify playlist (minus taylor swift, that drama queen) HERE.

what were your favorite songs this year?

1. bear hands - "giants"

i had a hard time choosing just one track from bear hands' excellent album distraction, but this tune won out and rose to the top for me due to the combination of frontman dylan rau's delightfully erratic delivery, a super-breezy chorus, and a reference to the late, great rapper ODB. though i'm still not sure what he "got right from the start."

2. bad suns - "transpose"



full disclosure that this one has a bit of sentimental value for me, because i completely associate it with my february trip to new orleans. but it's so good! and so catchy! i don't really know what else to say except that it's just a killer indie pop song.

3. catfish & the bottlemen - "kathleen"



i've talked about these guys a bunch this year even though i absolutely despise their name. yet, i can't deny that they make great music. just try and resist shouting along as van mccann (his real name) is all "i gotta give it to you, you give me problems!" perfect soundtrack for road rage and/or a toxic relationship. this live performance makes me chuckle because of van mccann's accent.

4. freedom fry - "the wilder mile"



more people need to hear this! it's understated, beautiful, and a little melancholy. plus, best band name ever? behind diarrhea planet, that is.

5. trey songz f/ nicki minaj - "touchin', lovin'" 


mr songz's (?) entire album trigga was a favorite for me this year, but upon my first listen, i immediately identified this song as the standout. mainly because it made me go "dayum, did he just really say that?!" the first few times i listened. and also because it made me dance in my car at least 30 times.

i recommended it to a guy i was dating over the summer when i was really obsessed with it, and his response was a stunned "this is sooo raunchy. why do you like it?" then i felt like a perv and immediately was all like, "uhhh, i just really love the beat!" (which, i mean, i do). also, i'm no longer dating that guy, so i can now openly profess my love for trey songz and his explicit r&b jams without fear of prejudice and judgment.

6. heathers - "circular road"



they're like the irish tegan and sara! if i based this list on choruses alone, i think this would take the crown.

7. the orwells - "southern comfort"



the lyrics to this song just contain so much practical wisdom. it's like a rock 'n roll how-to guide, performed by 12 year-olds (okay, they're like 20). come on: "life is better with a handful of ass, badass shades, and a bag full of grass"? pure poetry.

8. iggy azalea f/ charli xcx - "fancy"



sorry, had to. but you can't deny that no matter how much you hear this, you will instinctively say "first things first, i'm tha realest" in your most gangsta voice every. single. time. or maybe that's just me. bonus points for the video that riffs on clueless, too.

9. cathedrals - "harlem"



soooooo chill. go lay in the grass somewhere, close your eyes, and listen.

10. curtis harding - "surf"



definitely the best song i will ever shazam in a forever 21. and imagine my excitement to find out he's on my favorite label, burger records! a little bit funk, a little bit soul, a little bit rock and roll. dig it.

11. the knocks f/ powers - "classic"



a total summer jam that is perfect for any time of year. it makes me think of the beach and frolicking and flirting and being carefree and basically everything good and fun in life.

12. taylor swift - "blank space"



say what you want about t-swift, but the bitch can write a hell of a pop song. the obvious choice would be "shake it off," but i gravitate towards "blank space" because it's adorably self-deprecating and a lil' quirky. however, i will continue to sing "gotta love those starbucks lovers" instead of "got a long list of ex-lovers" because it sounds like starbucks, dammit.

13. courtney barnett - "avant gardener"



speaking of quirky, ms. barnett has cornered the market when it comes to clever, oddball lyrics. my favorite? "the paramedic thinks i'm clever 'cause i play guitar/i think she's clever 'cause she stops people dyin'." oh, courtney!

14. kid ink f/ chris brown - "show me"

never thought one of my favorite songs of 2014 would include the word "panties," but i guess i shouldn't be surprised after #5. see, i can safely hate chris brown and acknowledge that he's a terrible human being ... unless he's singing, or  dancing, or crooning that he's going to give me what i neeeeeed, yeaaaaah. then it's like:

YES I WILL SHOW YOU EVERYTHING, CHRIS BROWN. 

also, the beat just makes me wanna groove.

honorable mention:
honeyblood - "killer bangs"
tycho - "spectre"
the hold steady - "big cig" 
nick jonas - "jealous"

super-cliche thanksgiving post: what are you grateful for?

i know, i know. it's rare to see me going all "attitude of gratitude" and #blessed and deepak chopra (but real talk: i've been doing his daily meditation series with oprah and it's phenom). 

however, it seems only appropriate that i think about some of the things in my life that i appreciate the most in preparation for the upcoming turkeyfest next week. how about y'all?

• my health. after a couple of harrowing experiences in my past (a freak monster cyst in college and emergency gallbladder surgery just two years ago), i was terrified to have my routine physical about a month ago. but everything looks fab! totally worth a happy dance, and something i've learned not to take for granted. 

• COFFEE. yeah, it tastes like heaven, but i realized that the ritual of stumbling out of bed and over to my single-serve brewer brings me such great joy each morning. give me a full mug, a full RSS feed, and my sun-filled living room, and i'mma be alright.

• my family. a bunch of my aunts, uncles, and cousins got together for a mini-reunion a few weeks back, and it really helped bring me out of my head and into the moment. we made dinner together and watched scary movies and competed against each other in darts, trivia, and ping pong. sounds sappy, but it was just what i needed that weekend.

• really good songs. it always amazes me that even when i'm in the best of moods, a really poignant song can make me cry. or when i'm in the worst of moods, a really upbeat song can make me smile. like, when i went to see the new pornographers live this week, all i wanted to hear was their song "bones of an idol" because it's beautiful and grand and epic. and they played it! i may have teared up a little bit.

• my friends. while a couple of my gal pals are married with kids now, we've established a tradition of monthly girls' nights where we all get together and eat and drink too much and gossip and analyze texts and it's basically like sex and the city without the louboutins and cougars. hos before bros, man. always.

• traveling. it doesn't even have to be far, but just a day trip to explore a place i've never been gives me a whole new lease on life and recharges the ol' batteries sometimes. i've been really fortunate to get to see a whole bunch of cool places in my 28 years, and can't wait to see even more.

celebs i want to party with

these folks just look like they're a good time. i would love to close down the bar and/or sing karaoke and/or have silly drunk conversations with the following individuals. how about you?

matthew mcconaughey

this one's a given, because who DOESN'T want to get weird with this man? though i'd probably make him imitate wooderson the whole night. "there's a new fiesta in the making as we speak."

jenny slate

she's a mass native, and she's also hilarious. can't go wrong!

jason segel

just seems like a really laid-back, nice dude. and he'd make me laugh and laugh and laugh.

ke$ha

i've always said that if i was a pop star, i'd probably end up being a mix between lady gaga and ke$ha. she's sooooo weird, meaning that any time spent with her would probably result in an epic story.

blake anderson

my favorite workaholics cast member. when i first saw him on conan one night, discussing how he broke his spine when he jumped off a roof at a party, i was all about it.

5 things i love right now

1. this song by catfish & the bottlemen, "26"



saw these guys live last weekend, and they put on a really high-energy, tight show. couldn't understand a word of the lead singer's stage banter due to his thick welsh accent, but that was my problem and he was cute as a button, so it was fine. i love that all of their songs have super catchy melodies, but still have that raw power and a bit of an edge to them. halfway through the first verse of this tune from their forthcoming album, i had one of those "I LOVE THIS SONG" concert moments and immediately went to find it when i got home. LOL at the artwork, tho.


2.  ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK ON YOUTUBE

'nuff said. my favorite episode is "the tale of the whispering walls." still scares the crap out of me. what's yours?

3. goldenrod cardigans

in late august, i had a dream that it was fall and i was wearing a cardigan much like this one. when i woke up, i realized that i didn't own one and was deeply unhappy. i'm pleased to say that i purchased one the following week and have been wearing the hell out of it ever since. throw on a scarf with one of these babies and it does NOT get more autumn, unless you have a candy apple in your hand. which i highly recommend as well.

4. rediscovering rock of ages

did you hear about the guy that saw the musical rock of ages 500 times? first, i was confused as to why it was even a news item, since i feel like there are muuuuch stranger things that people have done 500 times. second, i was reminded of the first time i saw the glorious show (it's ok, i've only seen it twice) and promptly went on a youtube binge. keep in mind that i detest most musicals -- at least, the showtune-y ones -- so a song-and-dance show full of hair band covers and crude humor promptly shattered all stereotypes for me. i will never, EVER see the god-awful-looking movie with tom cruise. but if this number doesn't make you wanna, um, rock/quit your job and audition for a broadway musical, i'll be damned. 

5.  this photo series of animals looking through windows

simultaneously beautiful and soooooooo cute!